behavior

The Thoughts of Happiness

Published on by Eugene Morgan

Happy.

Post Written By Eugene Morgan

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”— Marcus Aurelius

It is what thoughts we feed that entertain the mind.  So if we think about negative thoughts, then we will feel negative feelings. Instead, if we replace negative thoughts with positive ones, then we will feel positive feelings.  When we have positive feelings we behave positively. If we have negative thoughts, then we can also do something positive to evoke positive feelings.  So we do have within our power to change how we think and feel, just simply by doing something we like. We don’t have to abide by the power of our negative thoughts and feelings.

New Behaviors And New Thinking

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Catch Light
Post Written By Eugene Morgan

For us to change a behavior we have to replace it with another behavior. We developed behaviors to meet a certain need, but when that need is met we no longer need the behavior. The behavior is obsolete. It is difficult to let go of the behavior because it is so ingrained in our psyche. The behavior becomes a part of our personality. It is time to replace the behavior with a new one when the behavior becomes a problem instead of a solution. This is done gradually and slowly with a lot of patience. The old behaviors usually are attached to an old pattern of thinking. Replacing an old behavior with a new one will break up the old pattern of thinking into something fresh and new.

 

Control

Published on by Eugene Morgan

08.Traffic.M.SCSB.WDC.16oct06

Post Written By Eugene Morgan

Controlling external events won’t change the way we feel. It is an illusion. Because we feel out of control doesn’t mean we are. It’s those thoughts in our head that increases our anxiety that can make us feel out of control. So we have this need within us to control external events around us to feel again in control. We use various behaviors to get the feeling of control back into our lives. If we expect others to behave a certain way all the time, then we set ourselves up for disappointment.  It is better to change the way we think and lowering our expectations can help with this. We can also work on what thoughts we’re saying to ourselves that make us feel like we’re out of control.

 

The Direction Of Peace

Published on by Eugene Morgan

✌ peace ✌ mšvidoba ✌ мир ✌ שָׁלוֹם ✌ سلا
Post Written By Eugene Morgan

“We’ve been looking outside us for our own peace. We’ve been looking in the wrong direction.” ~Byron Katie

Changes take place internally because that’s where the turmoil of conflict resides. If we want to change the world, it first starts with us. When changes are made, then we can be models for everyone around us. We can only influence others with the persuasiveness of our actions. The old cliché, “Action speaks louder than words.”  Our actions are only influences and are not commandments for others to follow. Those who model after someone is only persuaded to change in the sense that change was based on their own decision not coerced. If the person becomes convinced that a change can be beneficial, then the possibility of a change is inevitable. It is important to us that it was us that made up our minds to change.

Biases Can Affect Our Behaviors

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Seagrass Dining Chair
Post Written By Eugene Morgan

First of all, no one is without biases. Biases imply that our decisions or opinions about something have already been formed. For example, when we are presented with a puzzle that eludes us, it will continue to elude us so long as we don’t ask the why, the when, the what and the how questions.

These types of questions help us to think beyond our biases thus will give us more objectivity.  So without asking questions we may end up doing something based on a false assumption.

Assumptions are really short cuts we use all the time. We assume a chair is suitable to sit on because we based it on our experiences on sitting on many different chairs which in turn forms a generalization that most chairs are suitable to sit on.

Therefore, we don’t test or ask anyone if a particular chair is suitable to sit on. But there are assumptions we must ask the four questions to gather information before we go to the next step.

Thinking or Doing

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Think
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We don’t have to rush to make things happen, we just simply need to start doing things, and repeating what works. Just thinking of a perfect solution isn’t going to motivate us into starting a project.

Some of us find it easy to think up everything before we start on a project. But we will never start on a project, if we continue to think up a perfect solution.

But we will never think up a perfect solution that will work until we start moving objects around, testing things, seeing what works and what doesn’t work. Seeing what doesn’t work is good feedback in telling us if we’re going in the right direction.

When We’re Not Getting The Results We Want

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the wonder of numbers...
Post Written By Eugene Morgan

When we’re not getting the results we want, it clearly means that we have to make readjustments to our behaviors.

If we continue to do the same things and expecting the different results, then we’re going to get frustrated and want to give up.

We must constantly readjust our behaviors until we find the most useful behaviors that will get the results we want.

Combinations of different behaviors are more effective than one useful behavior.

Learning to find what works and what doesn’t work is great for information gathering, because once we find what works in certain situations, we know we can repeat those behaviors.

Learning About Thyself

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Detail, Daniel Chester French's 1904 Boston Public Library Bronze Door, "Knowledge" (Boston, MA)
Post Written By Eugene Morgan

Learning about us is a life long experience. Learning about ourselves is about discovering who we are.

When we begin to get a basic understanding of who we are, how we think and feel, then we have the opportunity to control our own behaviors.

We will know our likes and our dislikes, and what’s important and what’s not important.

Learning about us is about knowing when to reward our strengths and knowing when to accept our weaknesses.

Accepting our weaknesses is an important factor in discovering who we are.

Accepting our flaws means giving ourselves permission to make more discoveries about ourselves.  It is better to learn as much as we can about ourselves than not knowing at all.

Do you see it as a problem or Do you see it as Feedback?

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As the World Turns
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Problem is only a feedback telling us to look at it differently. It stays a problem as long as we see it as one. When we begin to look at the problem differently we begin to readjust our behavior.

When our behavior is readjusted, also the reaction from others will change. Others will no longer see us the same way. Their reactions and/or new responses encourage our new behaviors.

Behaviors and responses are actions. We respect actions because we respond better when we see them. Actions are concrete and easy to see. Actions and/or movements make the world go around.

Observe, then Change it

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Labomed CxL
Post Written By Eugene Morgan

If we want to learn something about ourselves, we must observe ourselves. Most of our behaviors are done without our knowledge. If we want to make a change in a certain area in our lives we must observe what we do to resist change.

Change isn’t easy. But if we want to do something to fulfill our purposes, change is a prerequisite. Change is required. That’s why it’s true that if we want something, it requires great labor to get it.

Change requires labor. And labor that we’re not used to isn’t easy. Change is difficult but not impossible. However, observing our behaviors will help us seek out those behaviors that are keeping us from doing what we need to do to make change possible.

The hardest part about change is to maintain it. It’s something that we can continue to do is to keep out old habits and to maintain new changes until those new behaviors become new habits.

Time is the important element to the process of change. It takes time to develop new habits. Instead of waiting until tomorrow to start changing old habits, why not we start today.

It’s just a delay, if we wait for tomorrow. Remember tomorrow is just an illusion. If we think about it, tomorrow is not real but today is real because we’re in it.

Lessons are Everywhere

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First Helicopter Lesson - Getting ready to land at Manassas Airport
Post Written By Eugene Morgan

Life is full of lessons. We all experienced something the hard way. Some things are better experienced than told. Those of us who are parents want to tell our kids what they should and shouldn’t do.

Most parents naturally want to protect their kids. When we were kids there were things we preferred told about than experienced.  But most of time as kids we wanted to figure it out ourselves.

But lessons are everywhere; we don’t have to look for them. They’re in the movies we watch, on the news we hear and in the newspapers we read. Some lessons are warnings, others, for most of us, repeated themes in our lives, such as, patience.

Some of us, who are rushing to work, are impatient when we’re behind a slow-moving vehicle.  It’s not the fault of the slow-moving vehicle.  This started when there was a delay, or not getting us enough time to prepare for work.

Whenever we’re having a hard time with something, there is a lesson learned.