Ericksonian Principles

Outside The Comfort Zone

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That's where the magic is happening

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“All progress takes place outside the comfort zone.” — Michael John Bobak

Getting out of our comfort zone sometimes evoke fears and doubts in us. However, we forget that getting out of our comfort zone is an opportunity for us to grow and expand ourselves.  Everyday we will experience some kind discomfort here and there and we have learned how to adjust. When it is something totally new for us our anxiety and/or stress levels may increase because we don’t know what to expect. We’re scrambling to find and learn the new pattern of things. We’re afraid we may make a mistake. However, we will make mistakes as we continue on learning. We may need to get up earlier than we’re use to. We may have to stay up later studying up on things just to get familiar with a project, which may include some training.  There will be times when we will experience resistance to continue on a task and that is the time that we must place ourselves outside of our comfort zone. As we continue to learn the ins and outs of things our discomfort we decrease.

[bctt tweet=”All progress takes place outside the comfort zone. — Michael John Bobak”]

Live Your Life

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Feraklos

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Live your life and forget your age. — Norman Vincent Peale

Yes, there are some limitations when it comes to age sometimes. However, it doesn’t mean we stop dreaming and living our lives. If we’re able to walk, talk, hear, see, and have a functional mind, then we still can continue to do things we enjoy the most with a purpose. It’s never too late to do most things in life. Our age doesn’t have to be the barometer for what we can and can’t do. We don’t have to allow societal pressures to dictate how we live our lives because of our background, age or anything that perceived to be a limitation.  Life is meant for living no matter what the age. We can learn from individuals that are younger and older than we’re and they can learn from us because we’re community of people with a variety of influences like education, art, business, and etc.

[bctt tweet=”Live your life and forget your age. — Norman Vincent Peale”]

 

Creating Today’s Peace

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Peaceful

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Worry does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace. — Unknown

Worrying is anticipating what we think is going to happen. However, when we look back on what we think is going to happen never happened. Worrying doesn’t control a situation that we don’t have control over. Worrying is useless because it’s based on what ifs and not on facts. Worrying is really a secondary gain because it distracts us from doing the things we have control over. Those things we do can decrease some of our trepidations. Peace of the mind is vacant when the mind is full of doubts. It’s no use trying to live in the future when we’re in the present. A peaceful mind deals better with life difficulties because a mind at peace let go of things. Let us stop using our imagination in that way instead use our imagination to create today’s peace.

 

[bctt tweet=”Worry does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace. — Unknown”]

 

People Who Believe In Themselves

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026-365 | I Am

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People believe in those who believe in themselves. — Unknown

We’re drawn to those who have self-confidence and feel comfortable in their own skin. Self-confidence is earned over time. For us to gained confidence we must allow ourselves to experience life. We all have a relationship with ourselves. When we give a person our word that we will do something and we follow through with it, we’re building confidence in the relationship. However, if we give ourselves our word that we will do something but don’t follow through with it, and then we will lose confidence in ourselves and we leave ourselves with disappointments. Our relationship with ourselves is just as important as our relationship with others.  If we’re willing to say yes to others but say no to ourselves, we’re dismissing ourselves with disrespect. When our main concern is to please others, we’re neglecting what we want in life.  It is all right to please others but it is not all right not to please ourselves. If we want to win ourselves over, then we must start respecting ourselves by following through with our word. When we follow through with our word, then we begin to believe in ourselves.

 

[bctt tweet=”People believe in those who believe in themselves. — Unknown”]

Life Goes On

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...life goes on... (ruins of the castle "Burg Rheinfels")

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“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”— Robert Frost

It is okay to take breaks or to retreat.  It is important to do these things to prevent burnout. Sometimes we think that if we’re not there where things are happening, the world or our world will crumble apart. That’s so untrue. Life will always continue on when we’re long gone.  That is our hope to know that it is true that life does continue. So what does that mean to us to know that life will go on with or without us? It means that we can slow down our pace; we can live moment-by-moment enjoying life because life will take care of itself. We are part of bigger picture; we’re not the big picture. Knowing that we’re not the big picture can bring us some relief instead of a heavy burden. In life we give and we get.

 

[bctt tweet=”In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.— Robert Frost”]

Only I Can Change

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Change

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“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” — Carol Burnett

If change is going to make a difference in our lives, then it is up to us to make the change.  Making our own change builds self-confidence. It is all right to ask for guidance and/or have someone hold us accountable to our goals. On the other hand, we can’t change another person’s life. They must make their own changes themselves. We can’t depend on another to change our lives and others can’t depend on us to change theirs. We can only challenge each other if we decide before hand to hold each other liable. We have the power inside us to make a difference.  Therefore, we don’t have to wait for opportunities to transform our lives we can start today by making preparations. Making preparations is doing our research, developing our skills and getting actively involved with others with the same interests.

[bctt tweet=”Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. — Carol Burnett”]

What Matters Most is Today

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What a beautiful day-Bavaria today

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“Every morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” — Buddha

What we do today is what matters most because action can only work in the present not in the past or the future.  The past we can only reflect while looking at the future we can only plan and anticipate an outcome of some sort. We retire at night, we sleep until dawn and then we rise to start a new day. Regrets get smaller each day when we take action. A new day is another opportunity to do great work in our lives. When we do look back on what we have done, we can smile and be grateful and then we can look into the future and we can be hopeful for more days ahead. We can only live one day at a time. The regrets of the past and the anxieties of the future are nullified when we act today.

 

[bctt tweet=”Every morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most. — Buddha”]

 

An Unconscious Request

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DSC_4377_pp

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Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious. — Thomas Edison

It is interesting that Thomas Edison the American inventor understood the concept of the subconscious or unconscious mind. That our unconscious has the ability to solve a problem or to get us where we want to go just by requesting something reasonable to our unconscious.  Our unconscious mind may not be solving a problem or recalling a memory right away, but it will continue working on it long after the request. We just have to pay close attention when our unconscious mind is ready to reveal to us consciously the results it came up with. Although Sigmund Freud understood the subconscious mind to be filled with repressed emotions and symbolisms, Thomas Edison saw our subconscious mind more in a positive light to be used as a tool to assist in resolutions.  Both men lived in the same era.  Both men have used their ideas and changed our world for what it is today.

 

[bctt tweet=”Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious. — Thomas Edison”]

 

Push Through With Persistence

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Persistence on a cold beach

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“Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure.” — Edward Eggleston

In other words, we don’t have to give up but to stay with it because the day we give up, might be the day we succeed. Persistence is moving through trial times when we want to surrender. Persistence is learning how to be comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. Persistence teaches us how to handle our struggles, our battles within us. Persistence is not afraid of obstacles. As long as we see that persistence is helping us to make further progress in our quest to succeed. Failure doesn’t mean that we have given up, instead is just a milestone to success. Persistence is our determination to move uphill despite a windy day. Persistent people are willing to learn from their mistakes and make sacrifices. Great labor is inevitable if we want to succeed in life

 

[bctt tweet=”Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure. – Edward Eggleston”]

Blessings In Disguise

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“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise”

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“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” — Oscar Wilde

Sometimes, things fall on our laps unexpectedly when we think we’re not ready for them.  Those are the times when we experience trepidations because we aren’t sure if we have the ability to do it. We have to learn as quickly as possible and sometimes be thrown to wolves and see how we can handle things while we’re under a lot of pressure to perform. Some of us can do well when we’re pressed to do something immediately and while some of us don’t.  We’re tested during those times so we can discover how well we can deal. It is a blessing when we find out that we do have the inner strength to get through and that our abilities and our latent potentials emerges for this occasion. If we don’t push beyond our limits to grow the universe somehow will push us. Some of us need a push to do something every once in awhile, if we don’t push ourselves.

 

[bctt tweet=”What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise. – Oscar Wilde”]

When Dreams Come True

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Olh'o passarinho

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The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. — Paul Valéry

Dreams can bring us hope for new possibilities. But if we want to see if those dreams are possible we must wake up and make them real in our lives. That’s the only way to find out if our dreams are possible to do while awake. We live in the here and now not in our dreams. There is no need for us to waste time in our dreams when we can use our time making our dreams come true.  Perhaps dreams are meant for sleep not while we’re awake. Let us stop dreaming and start living our lives the way we want and stop wishing our lives away while awake. Dreams come true when we do the work. The work is our opportunity for growth so why wait now when we have the time. If we hear a faint nagging voice from the back our head saying that we can do better than this, then we ought to listen to it and then do better with our lives

[bctt tweet=”The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. — Paul Valéry”]

Be More Of Value

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Magpie Nest in the Apple Tree

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“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” — Albert Einstein 

Success is more about us and value is more about others. When we were kids, we all wanted to grow up to be something and be successful at it. That means spending time working on ourselves to become what we see ourselves in the future doing. We don’t have to perceive success something bad or good but something we want to do and have the desire doing it. Just as we want others to be of value for us and also the same rings true that we want to be of value for others. That’s very important to us because we want to somehow feel useful for another person.  When we want to be of value for others, we’re thinking about how best to serve them instead of thinking about how can I be successful in this or that. We can use our experiences from our success and use them to be more of value toward others.

 

[bctt tweet=”Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value. — Albert Einstein “]

What Keeps Me Going Is Possibility

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Possibilities

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“It’s the possibility that keeps me going, not the guarantee.” — Nicholas Sparks

First of all nothing is guaranteed in life. However, there are endless possibilities only if we pay attention. When we see there is possibility, we’re freer to explore what’s out there anyway we like. We want to know how far we can go to reach our limits and then test to see if we can go beyond our limits. It is through learning that we see that there is possibility to help us to continue moving forward in anything we do. It may be what sparks the passion in us to continue on our journey that we set up for ourselves.  There is room enough for all of us to grow in the mist of possibilities. Nothing is guaranteed except for the endless supply of possibilities. For us to grow we need to test the boundaries of possibilities until we’re satisfied.

[bctt tweet=”It’s the possibility that keeps me going, not the guarantee. — Nicholas Sparks “]

Accept Life As Is

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let me tell you a little story about 4 trees...

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Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life—and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.— Eckhart Tolle

As we accept life as it is, we no longer have to be resistance toward it. When we have an urge to control the things we cannot control, the things we have no control over don’t necessarily means we have no control over our lives. We just have to distinguish what things we do have control over versus what things we don’t have control over. Once we know the difference then it is easier to surrender to what is. We don’t have to fall victim to the things we have no control over but to continue to be proactive in the things we do have control over. If we fall victim to the things we have no control over, then we’re distracting ourselves from being proactive. We are the author and the pilot of our lives so we have the power to alter our course. Things only become real to us when we produce actions instead of producing lamenting thoughts, which only produces idleness.

[bctt tweet=”Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life—and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.— Eckhart Tolle”]

 

Practice Builds Confidence

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soccer practice.

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An ounce of practice is worth tons of preaching. — Mahatma Gandhi

Practice has a way of building confidence. We may not have confidence in the beginning. However, as we do a skill over and over we will get better than if we don’t practice at all. Practice saves a lot of time. We do need some guidance from time to time. Once we’re shown the proper way to a skill, we then take over the rest in practice. We can practice alone or we can practice with others especially if they’re practicing the same skill. This allows us to support each other and to challenge each other to grow further in our training. We learn much faster practicing than if someone was giving us tips and tricks on how to improve on our skills.  Practicing a skill can be tedious, however, it will be well worth it at the end.

[bctt tweet=”An ounce of practice is worth tons of preaching. — Mahatma Gandhi”]

 

 

 

Seeing The Extraordinary

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Extraordinary

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The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them. — Paulo Coelho

The wise can find in the simple things the most extraordinary. We can find extraordinary things in simple things if we just observe. It takes one’s undivided attention to find the extraordinary. We can find observation useful because it helps us to go beyond the scope of our thinking. The wise can see the extraordinary because they have learned over the years that they can find things out just by observing. That’s how data is collected. We not only observe with our eyes, we observe with our ears, our fingers and our noses. So based on the collected data we can make wiser decisions which can make a difference in one’s life.  Observation can put us into an objective position to make better choices.  So when we look at things let us pay more attention enough to discover the extraordinary.

 

[bctt tweet=”The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them. — Paulo Coelho”]

 

 

Crazy New Idea

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GIVE ME IDEAS

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“Every really new idea looks crazy at first.” — Abraham H. Maslow

It may seem to be implausible or counterintuitive when we first hear of a new idea because it might have come out of a different context that we haven’t experienced before. Civilizations were built on crazy ideas. It is always a risk to make a new idea into something real because we don’t know what to expect. We don’t know if the new idea will work only if we test and then wait and see what happens. We will never know if the new idea works unless we test them. As we’re testing them, we will learn and discover more ideas and most importantly get an understanding as to how new ideas will help in the long run. That’s why we brainstorm to look for other ways (new ideas) to do things better and sufficiently.

 

[bctt tweet=”Every really new idea looks crazy at first. — Abraham H. Maslow”]

 

As Long As We Hold On

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12 03 Seven Sisters - what a bumpy road!

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The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on so long. — Unknown

We hold on for so long because we want to fulfill a desire. We understand that it will be difficult to obtain but we want to see if we can do it. It is important to us to know if we can pursue something that may be difficult to reach.  At one time we believed that it was possible to obtain. But when we hit a bumpy road, we find ourselves thinking about giving up. The journey will not always be bumpy. The bumpy road is just part of the journey. To start a journey is really the hardest thing to do, moving through the wilderness is harder, but making it to end is just hard. Therefore starting is just half the battle and the other half we can divide and then conquer.

 

[bctt tweet=” The minute you thing of giving up, think of the reason why you held on so long. — Unknown”]

From Lost to Happiness

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Happiness

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Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose. — C. S. Lewis

In other words, it is not a good idea to be attached to something external to make us happy.  It is better to create that happiness inside us first and then share it with others. We’re responsible for our own happiness and no one can give us the happiness we want except us. If we find ourselves always disappointed about life, then it times for us to look at ourselves to make internal changes. No one is without loses. Loses are inevitable. Happiness is inevitable if we start from within. We have to remember that happiness is one of many emotions that we experience. There are time it is appropriate to express our happiness and there are times it is appropriate to express other emotions as well.

 

[bctt tweet=”Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose. — C. S. Lewis”]

 

 

Be Who You Are

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If You Really Knew Me...

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Don’t look for society to give you permission to be yourself. — Steve Maraboli

It takes little energy to be ourselves so how come we worry so much about what other people think? Being ourselves doesn’t mean we’re misbehaving or breaking the law. Being ourselves and misbehaving are two different things.  People identify with us more when we show our vulnerability because they can relate. We all want to connect with others and that sometimes is difficult to fit in. Every one of us has some experiences not fitting in at some time or another. People are attracted to who we are not some much what we’re pretending to be. People mostly can see through pretenses. We just need to give ourselves permission to be ourselves by first accepting the gifts and talents that we were born with and use them for the good as we express them in our own unique way.

[bctt tweet=”Don’t look for society to give you permission to be yourself. — Steve Maraboli”]