Ericksonian Principles

Make Good On An Attitude

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Happiness is an attitude.

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“Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.”— John Wooden

This quote above is really about our attitude. Our attitude is really what makes a difference on how we make the best of how things work out. We may not have control over what happens around us but we do have control over how we take on things. We can choose our attitude. An attitude can darken a room while an attitude can brighten a dark room. Our attitude creates the atmosphere or the mood in a room. Someone with a good attitude wants to know what tools are available to use and to look for opportunities to make the best of a situation. There are possibilities out there when we look for them. Where there are possibilities there are opportunities to make the best of how things can work out when we have a positive attitude.

 

[bctt tweet=”Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out. — John Wooden”]

 

What Can Go Right?

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Even if nothing goes right, don't go left!

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“Stop worrying about what can go wrong and get excited about what can go right.” — unknown

When we continue to worry about what could go wrong, we lose focus on the possibility as to what can go right; therefore we don’t do anything at all to find out. Not everything is going to go right as plan there will be some things that will go wrong and there will be some things that will go right. We just have to accept this as the part of life; besides, we can always learn from it and use it to implement a better plan next time or a contingency plan. Worrying can suck up our energy while excitement keeps us rejuvenated if something may go wrong, then we can better handle the situation.

 

[bctt tweet=”Stop worrying about what can go wrong and get excited about what can go right. — unknown”]

 

My Religion is Kindness

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'Each human creature is alone - but acts of kindness take away our loneliness, for we discover that others are concerned for us'. ~Pam Brown b. 1928

Post Written By Eugene Morgan

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”— Dalai Lama

We have a choice in being kind towards one another. Kindness seems to affect the heart and can melt away resentment. We can’t stay angry with someone for too long because it takes a lot of energy to sustain it. If we’re kind to one person, then our only hope is that the next person will pass on kindness to another. Expressing kindness doesn’t mean that we are weaker but stronger. Thus, expressing kindness to another helps us to earn our self-respect and the respect of others. Yes even self-respect is earned. Kindness is by choice and it helps support self-esteem. Most of us respond better with kindness than to a command. We usually remember the person who said kind words to us.  Being kind is sometimes difficult, but simple to do.
[bctt tweet=”My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness — Dalai Lama “]

 

 

It Is Time To Pause and Reflect

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Reflection of the Sky in my Window

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“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”— Mark Twain

Mark Twain is suggesting to us to be different or to realize that we’re different in every way and then embrace it. Each and every one of us is unique. There is no one alike. There is no one like you or me. We don’t have to be more like someone but we can be more like ourselves. We have the gift of individuality that we each can bring into a group of people because each person has a unique talent. Some of us are more gifted than others while some of our gifts are underdeveloped.  Isn’t it better to have an underdeveloped gift than have no gift at all? We can develop the latent gift and express it uniquely to the world to see. So we don’t have to be like the majority for us to fit in instead we can feel comfortable being in our own skin.

Pressures Of Being Perfect

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Sunset over Chicago

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“The only pressure I’m under is the pressure I’ve put on myself.”— Mark Messier

If the only pressure we’re under is the pressure we put on ourselves, then we can ease up on the pressure anytime we want. We have control on how much pressure we put on ourselves. We all want to do our best and sometimes our best will not be good enough, but that’s okay. Perfection is not the solution. We’re humans with flaws. Perfection infers that the world will judge us harshly if things are not done right and proper. However, we’re not robots, but a person with emotions. So let us ease off on the pressures of being perfect and learn how to be more ourselves as we live each day of our lives. No one is perfect and everyone has feelings. Acceptance is possible when we let go of perfectionism.
[bctt tweet=”The only pressure I’m under is the pressure I’ve put on myself.— Mark Messier”]

 

Different Approach Makes Different Results

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life cycles

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How come we approach a problem in the same way to expect a different result? The good news is that we don’t have to continuously use the same approach when we know that it is not working for us. It is better to constantly find new ways to affect an outcome.  We save a lot of time in the long run looking for different approaches. Sometimes it is like being in a laboratory conducting experiments and then collecting our findings.  It is all right to have a certain expectation for a different result when we’re using a different approach to things. This is how we know what works and what doesn’t work. If we know this or that isn’t working in our lives, then we have the opportunity to change things. Changing our approach around doesn’t have to be burdensome but an opportunity to learn a great amount.

The Smallest Acts

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Wild Flower

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“Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.”— Swami Sivananda

Self-confidence starts with small goals. Each time we succeed in accomplishing a small goal we gain self-confidence. It is easer this way than to start out accomplishing something grandiose. If we start out trying to meet a big goal, and then fail, our self-esteem would plummet, thus no self-confidence. We need confidence in ourselves so we can rely on ourselves to accomplish our goals. When we put in our heart, mind and soul, we are focused. Our internal conflicts, our doubting thoughts creates in us the struggle to succeed, however, we don’t have to stop for them, but to continue on pushing through until we get there. The more we push through, the more focused we get the less time we have to focus on our struggles.

[bctt tweet=”Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.— Swami Sivananda”]

The Truth We Believe

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illusion.......

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“The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.” — Pema Chodron

We hold on to our beliefs tenaciously sometimes without considering new possibilities. Our minds are already made up without questioning our assumptions. We dare not question our own beliefs because we feel it could be a threat to us. There is nothing wrong about readjusting to old beliefs when we receive new information. The new information either strengthens our belief system or loosens up our belief system so we can be ready to receive new truths. Our beliefs will always be challenged. For us to learn anything new we must have an open mind to new ideas. We don’t have to be naive to accept everything we hear but we can allow ourselves to consider other possibilities or alternatives in the long run to have us grow in our quest for new understanding about life.

[bctt tweet=”The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new. — Pema Chodron”]

 

More To Life, Than Speed

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speed

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“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”— Mahatma Gandhi

We live in a fast-pace world. We want to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible. We sometimes, express impatient with one another or with ourselves. We angrily tale-gate another vehicle because of our lateness. We just don’t want to wait. We want to get things done immediately. However, if we approach life as slow and steady, then we won’t miss out on life but have time to enjoy it. We don’t want drag our feet either but to participate in what life has to offer. As Gandhi says there is more to life than how fast we get there.  Speed isn’t as important than seeing how pretty is the scenery.
[bctt tweet=”There is more to life than increasing its speed.— Mahatma Gandhi”]

 

Enjoy The Dream Today

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Dreaming

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“Letting go of the past means that you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now.”— Don Miguel Ruiz

Sometimes we don’t want to let go of the past is because there is a familiarity. We’re comfortable with familiarity of the past even though it can sometimes hurt. The past is the memory of things we’ve experienced. But we do have dreams. And some of our dreams do come true for us. Those dreams that are happening now in our lives are what we can enjoy and cherish if we give them our attention.  Cherish what we already have and we will be happy. We have a chance to live out our dreams as it is happening today.  The dreams that’s happening in our lives today are from a distant past that were just ideas. We have all put in the hard work for our dreams to become real in our lives.  It is okay to let go of the past while enjoying what is happening now.
[bctt tweet=”Letting go of the past means that you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now.— Don Miguel Ruiz”]

 

Meaning In The End

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An End

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“Meaning is not what you start with but what you end up with.” — Peter Elbow

For us to have meaning we must first experience the struggles of life. When we struggle together in life we find meanings and as result of what we’ve been through together we develop closeness. We build new associations that we can cherish for the rest of our lives. Those associations are felt by our minds, souls and bodies. When there is no meaning in our lives, it’s like watching a black and white movie. Meaning makes life colorful and tangible. We need to touch things, feel the sun on our faces and wake up with a smell of coffee in the morning.  We don’t realize that some things are meaningful to us until we revisit our old stumping grounds, or we miss something in our past whether that’s a person or place or thing. Having meaning in our lives give us some sort of purpose. We have a reason to get up in morning because we have a purpose in what we do.

[bctt tweet=”Meaning is not what you start with but what you end up with. — Peter Elbow”]

 

Truly In The Present

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Contre-jour printanier

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“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” Thich Nhat Hanh

When we look in our past and in our future, we’re spending 2/3 of our time away from the present. While our minds are either in the past or in the future, our bodies are on autopilot in the present. There is no one home in the present moment. Therefore, we are not fully there to be ourselves. Our past can weigh heavy on us while our future can create anxiety. But if we spend more time in the present, then our shoulders will get lighter and our fears will turn into excitement. There is a time for reflection and there is a time to plan things in the future. And most of all, there is time to be fully in the present. Our present is build upon our past while our future is build upon our present. So whatever decisions we make today will affect our future just as our past affects our present.

 

[bctt tweet=”If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.Thich Nhat Hanh”]

 

 

 

For Everything That We Are

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Unique

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“Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything that you are.”— Unknown

Sometimes we think we have to have everything together before we go out into the brave new world to fulfill a dream. Every one of us has experienced feeling shortchanged when it comes to what we’re lacking because we’re comparing ourselves with another. It is better to focus on the things we enjoy doing and to accept ourselves as unique individuals. We should understand that the most importance thing about us is our uniqueness. No one is the same and each and every one of us has a unique way of looking at the world. Each day of our lives we have the opportunities to practice our uniqueness to world while we enjoy the pleasure of experiencing each other’s uniqueness. We start by loving ourselves when we begin to understand that we don’t have to imitate another’s uniqueness when we have our own.

 

[bctt tweet=”Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything that you are.”]

 

 

 

Stay Calm; The Storm Will Pass

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Illinois storm

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“You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.”— Timber Hawkeye

When we stop trying to calm the storm, we then have enough energy to calm ourselves. Trying to calm the storm is just a distraction. We have no control over the storm but we have some control over ourselves. Just as the quote above says that the storm is only temporary it will pass. This is very symbolic of life. We think if only we could control external events, then we will feel in control.  We have no control over someone’s actions but our own. If we can retreat from the place that’s creating chaos, then let us do it. It’s all right to take breaks so we can keep ourselves sane and recharge. When others around us see that we’re calm, it gives them an opportunity to remain calm as well.
[bctt tweet=”You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.”]

 

Rejection is Merely Someone’s Opinion

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How To Get Success

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“Rejection is not fatal; it is merely someone’s opinion.”— Unknown

We don’t have to get bent out of shape because of someone’s opinion that’s contrary to ours. Instead, we can be open to listening to the opinion if it proves useful to us or we can eat the meat and spit out of bones.   It is okay to agree to disagree and as long as there is no physical harm or inflammatory remarks. Rejection is not about us personally, but is about the opinion of those individuals in which they have every right to have just as we have every right to our opinions. We don’t have to take it personally because it is just an opinion and nothing else. We can just move on; meaning we just have to accept someone’s opinion as is.

 

[bctt tweet=”Rejection is not fatal; it is merely someone’s opinion.”]

Our Heart of Hearts

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present and distant heart

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“We cannot achieve more in life than what we believe in our heart of hearts we deserve to have.”— James R. Ball

If we believe that we don’t deserve to have something, then we won’t put our hearts into getting it. However, if we do believe we deserve to have something, then we will put our hearts, minds and souls into it.  All of us have dealt different cards in life. Some people have better access to certain things than others. So life is not always fair. But we all have to find our own way in life. If we’re uncertain about ourselves, how can we be certain about anything else? The belief starts with us. It is the belief that we have resources from our experiences that we can always draw from. We can make our life worthwhile if we create an atmosphere in our lives that we do deserve everything what life has to offer. And that we can be grateful each day of our lives that we are given an opportunity to do good things, if we believe we deserve it in our hearts.
[bctt tweet=”We cannot achieve more in life than what we believe in our heart of hearts we deserve to have.”]

 

Let Go and See What Happens

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Don't wanna see what happens next

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“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.”— Mandy Hale

A plan is desirable when we need structure. However, too much structure can repress our creativity and our spontaneity. It is all right to rely on a feeling or our intuition and to play things out to see where they can lead us. It is about allowing ourselves to express our creativity externally without being affected by our rigidity and biases. Creativity allows us to be free and to be free to let go.    This really allows our unconscious mind to surface a little and to spill some new understandings over to our conscious mind. We all experienced saying to ourselves, “Why didn’t we think of that?” but we did, we just didn’t think of that right away because when we stop looking for an answer, our unconscious mind continues searching until a satisfying answer pops into our head. What a lovely treat when an idea or a light goes off in our heads when we least expect it.
[bctt tweet=”You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.”]

 

Love and Memory

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black eyed susans for "Twila"

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“As long as there is love and memory, there is no true loss.”— Cassandra Clare

Human beings have an aversion for loss because it creates an emotional pain of separation from a loved-one or a friend or a co-worker. We don’t know how to react upon hearing the news that someone has died, but to only react in shock and surprise. We don’t live in a vacuum where we won’t experience some level grief of a co-worker whose loved-one has just passed away. Instead of denying the fact that we feel some pain inside, we can mourn and reflect also the passing and help our friends through these times of grief. And during our reflections we can recall our own experiences of loss in our personal lives. We can recall the love and memory of a loved-one in our minds alive and well, full of life in happy moments.
[bctt tweet=”As long as there is love and memory, there is no true loss”]

 

Take The Rest As It Happens

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The Phoenix Process

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“Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.”— Epictetus

So what is within our power, we should use it or, we’re giving our power away to circumstances. We don’t have to wait for circumstances to force our hand. Instead, we can use the force of our hand to make things happen in the circumstances. We may not have full control over the circumstances, but we can make the best use of control to steer us into the right direction.  We take a bit of circumstances as it happens because we need to know more if we want to learn how to get around the situation if it’s all possible and if it’s necessary for our well-being. We all want to feel in control all the time, however, that’s impossible, which means we need to trust the universe and ourselves. Once we trust and rely on the universe and ourselves we relinquish some control and we feel freer.

 

[bctt tweet=”Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.”]

 

 

 

 

When We Feel Awkward

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DSC_0049

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“You can only grow if you’re willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”— Brian Tracy

When we feel awkward and/or uncomfortable, we’re experiencing vulnerability. We experience this vulnerability because we feel set up for an attack. We want everyone to see us doing something perfectly. But for us to learn we have to go through the awkwardness and uncomfortable feelings. And if we practice doing the new thing, we will improve and we will feel confident in our abilities. We all experienced wanting to give up during this phase of awkwardness and uncomfortable feelings. But those feelings will dissipate as long as we continue to improve on our goals. Struggle is always part of the process of learning a new thing. It’s really about how we push through in spite of our self-defeat thoughts and the critics.

[bctt tweet=”You can only grow if you’re willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”]