Ericksonian Principles

Key To Your Happiness

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key to happiness

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“Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.”— Unknown

The key to our happiness should be in our own pocket. We’re in charge of our own lives. Relationship is built on both parties bringing happiness to a relationship instead of finding happiness from a relationship. Life is not about just work instead; we work to live an enriched life as we bring our enriched lives to work. We don’t have to wait for something exciting to happen in our lives instead, we can create our own excitement. We don’t have to follow someone else’s path to feel important instead, we can create our own path because we feel important.  We don’t have to imitate someone for us to admire them instead; we can become our own unique selves because we feel admiration. We each bear the burden of our key to our happiness in our own way.

 

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Strength Grows

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Grow in strength

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“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses.”— Ralph Waldo Emerson

The quote above sounds so profound. It is like a paradox. This quote becomes a riddle, when we turn it into a question, “how does our strength grows out of our weaknesses?” Then we found ourselves looking back at our experiences and we say to ourselves “aha!”  First of all there is a certain maturity level we have to experience before we can get an understanding that we do have weaknesses. And to know that we don’t have to allow our weaknesses to stop us from meeting our goals. After we acknowledge our weaknesses, we learn to compensate and or to use other areas. In other words, we are forced to use other talents as we built our strength by determination, and as well as building our character.
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Life As It Is

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Day 30 Has Arrived

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“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.”— Wayne Dyer

This is a very powerful quote because it tells us how our beliefs can shape the way we think of how things should be. It is better to see life as it is because whatever life throws at us is an opportunity for us to use our capabilities. Talking is a lot easier than doing something about our lives. Peace is about giving us the opportunity to do something about our lives than having constant chatter in our minds. We can have a peaceful mind while living a productive life as we accept life as it is. Accepting life as it is means learning to widen our minds so that we can have more choices. When we have more choices, we have more peace of mind because we no longer are hindered by a narrow belief that can cause a lot of noisy thoughts in the mind.
[bctt tweet=”Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.”]

 

See the Good In Others

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A heavy sun

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“When you choose to see the good in others, you end up finding the good in yourself.”— Unknown

We can see the good in others if we look for it. It’s easy to see the bad in others if we disagree with them or if they look different than us in some way.  When we do find the bad in others, we develop a preconceived idea about them. We only see a skewed dimension of that person and not really seeing the whole person. If we see only the bad in others then will be see only that in ourselves. Instead, we can accept both the bad and good in others just as we can accept those things in ourselves. It is a choice for us to make. Accepting the bad and the good in others helps us keep our expectation in neutral.
[bctt tweet=”When you choose to see the good in others, you end up finding the good in yourself.”]

 

On Loving Yourself

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Untitled
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“Focus on loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.”— Unknown

We so much want approval from another person that we forget that we are a person. How come we think that having self-approval is not enough? It only takes one person to believe in us and that makes a world of difference and that one person is the person we see everyday in the mirror. We know what we’re capable of doing and we have dreams about doing greater things with our lives.  If we feel a need to always be the center of attention, then we haven’t been self-loving. We haven’t accepted ourselves yet. We aren’t satisfied with ourselves. If we have the capacity to accept and love others, then we have the capacity to accept and love ourselves and allow others to love us.  If we continue to need constant reminders that another loves us, then it’s time to remind ourselves to love ourselves. And then we will know for sure how much love we have for others and ourselves.

[bctt tweet=”Focus on loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.”]

 

Freedom of the Mind

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White

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“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.”— Antoine de Saint-Exupery

When we’re given the opportunity to inform or educate ourselves, we’re given ourselves the opportunity to be freer. We no longer have to be kept in the dark instead, we can reeducate ourselves when we have a lack of understanding about something. It is our minds that instructs our feet  to either go left, right or go straight ahead. We all have experienced being stuck. For us to get unstuck we have to experience something that will reorient our view on things so we can let go of our tethers. When we begin to let go of the tether in our minds, we begin to see more opportunities. We begin to see things we haven’t seen before that was always there.  The blinders have been lifted for our minds’ eyes to see.
[bctt tweet=”I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.”]

 

Cherish What We Already Have

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Cherishing the tiny worlds

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“Prosperity depends more on wanting what you have than having what you want.”— Geoffrey F. Abert

We want more, because we stopped wanting more of what we already have. If we focused on what we already have, then there will be no need for looking elsewhere for more. When we shift our attention to what we already have, the desire to have more will decrease. Just like it’s not good to go to a grocery store on a empty stomach because our tendency is to buy more than what we need.  What we desire is not necessarily is what we need in our lives.  When our attention shift to what we desire, that desire might just be an illusion because we somehow convinced ourselves that we have to have it. In other words, our desire to have it is greater than having it.  That’s why it is better to cherish what we already have in our lives today.

 

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Good Intentions

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Live With Intention
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“The best way to keep good intentions from dying is to execute them.”— Unknown

Having good intentions is like moving aimlessly without direction. Good intentions are only that— intentions. Good intentions are just thoughts in our heads. Good intentions are only to make the person who’s making them feel good about his or her self at first, but, to later experience disappointment. However, if we execute our intentions, then we will experience confidence in ourselves. There is a certain expectation from others that we will follow through with our intentions. There is something about expressing our intentions publicly that motivates us to want to execute them no matter how difficulties it may bring, because most of us don’t want to let anyone down. That’s one of the worse feelings to experience.  We want others to have confidence in us and to know that others can rely on us again for future endeavors.
[bctt tweet=”The best way to keep good intentions from dying is to execute them.”]

The Pilot of Our Time

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Time Jumper

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“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.”— Michael Altshuler

We don’t want it to end when time flies because time flies when we’re having fun. Most of the time when we’re having fun is when we’re the pilots of our lives. We can decide what direction we want to go in our lives. It is up to us to decide how we want to spend our time. Believe it or not, we can make the time we need, and to do what we want with it. It is a conscious choice to make time. We all have routines we do on a daily basis. We can add a new task to our routine, as that new task becomes a part of our daily schedule. We can rise up 10 minutes early to do something we want to do that’s worthwhile.  If we do this for seven days, then after the end of the week we have gained an extra 70 minutes. We’re the pilots when we make it our time to make the time.

 

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Certain Degree Of Trust

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Trust

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“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”-— Ernest Hemingway

When we say we don’t trust somebody, we have a tendency to look for evidence that is true that the person is untrustworthy.  We want it to be true so we can avoid the pain. Trusting is very important because it establishes certainty and a connection with the other party. But if we want to know if we can trust another person, then we should just trust them. When it comes to friendship and relationship there is a certain degree of trust. Both parties are making a risk to getting hurt. In any relationship there is a potential of getting hurt unintentional.  No one can avoid that. The best way to trust someone is when both parties experience external event together that causes each party to rely on the other.
[bctt tweet=”Meaningful, tweetable quote.”]

 

An Interesting Freedom

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Tame birds sing about freedom. Wild birds fly.

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“When you are not attached to praise or criticism, an interesting freedom is yours.”— Kute Blackson

Getting praises can be motivating, however we later feel that we have to meet someone else’s expectation. When getting criticisms, we feel exposed and want to withdraw from the pain it we may cause. But if we rid ourselves of the praises and criticisms, then we don’t have to seek someone else’s approval. We’re free when we no long seek praise and listen to our critics. We don’t have to be defined by those things, but freely feeling comfortable in our own skin. We can praise ourselves, if we wish and not be too critical with ourselves because we can be our own worse critics. The ratio should be 1 to 3, one criticism to three praises.

 

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Doing What We’re Good At

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Herbst

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“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”— John Wooden

When we say we cannot do something, we’re making a hasty generalization about everything else including the things we know we can do. It also prevents us from doing the things we know we can do. Of course, we can’t do everything. We don’t have to be the jack-of-all-trade for us to succeed in life, but we can focus on the one thing that we’re good at because that will make a difference.  Those things we’re unable to do can be done by other talented people in that area while we can make our talents useful and helpful to others.  It is nice to give someone the opportunity to do what he or she does best. It is better to leave it to the best in the field. Don’t we want quality service and product?

[bctt tweet=”Meaningful, tweetable quote.”]

Today’s Spotless Future

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Spotted a spotless ladybug!

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“Whatever the past has been, you have a spotless future.”— Unknown

It is nice to know that tomorrow is a gift to make things right with ourselves and with people in our lives. Sometimes we find ourselves feeling guilty when we look at our past transgressions never forgiving ourselves. Our future can’t be spotless when we’re keeping our head in the past. Let the past bury the past. There is nothing we can do but to accept what had happened and be grateful that we have another opportunity to be a productive person in our future.  Where we are today has a strong effect on what we did in the past.  And what we do today will have a strong effect on what we’ll do tomorrow.  Nothing is guaranteed but we will learn something in the end.

 

 

No Matter How Small

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" Hope " ..... No matter how small you are .......

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“Look at what you’ve got and make the best of it. It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.”— Proverb

Because we have a desire for something doesn’t mean we need it. We can lose interest when we cease desiring something. So we don’t have to think we need to have something because we have a desire to have it. Regarding our talents, it is better to make the best of what we already have and see how we can light up the world.  We all have something to contribute to the world. We grew our talents out of our experiences that are a part of us that we can somehow use as our purpose. When we do something useful with our talents we feel a sense of satisfaction and pride. We can know and feel that we are important and we can make a dent, no matter how small.
 [bctt tweet=”Meaningful, tweetable quote.”]

The Goodness Within

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The one on the other side of the mirror

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“You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you.”— Eckhart Tolle

If we want to be good, we’re inferring that we only have a dark side. However, we have a good side and a dark side. It is better to accept the dark side because it will always be a part of us. No one is perfect. We have made mistakes but also we have done good things. We need both the good and dark side to keep us balanced. We need to use both sides not just one or the other. Some may say our aggression comes from our dark side. Or, those impulses that we feel we need to keep under wraps. Every behavior if it were in a certain context can be justified. However, we each have filters or a set of criteria to weigh on the choice of what behaviors we will do next.
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Together We’re Stronger

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TOGETHER

 
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 We can only do our best and sometimes our best isn’t good enough. And that’s okay. We all have different levels of growth. No ones’ path is the same. Although we each have to trek through our journey alone, we can trek through our journey together alone. So we don’t have to feel lonely. We can help and support each other along our individual path. We have each other via friendship. A support system is good for everyone including some of us who prefer to do things alone. We can draw energy from each other when we’re together to help build strength and confidence in ourselves. Together we’re stronger while divided powerless.

Call It Wonder and Freedom

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Wonder Bread
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“Don’t call it uncertainty—call it wonder. Don’t call it insecurity—call it freedom.”— Osho

When we call it uncertainty, our anxiety increases. However, if we call it wonder, our curiosity about things increase. When we call it insecurity, our doubts about ourselves increase. However, if we call it freedom, then our acceptance about things and ourselves increase. Freedom gives us room to wonder while insecurity takes away our space for certainty. Curiosity is the hook that holds our attention to something to help us stimulate learning. Wonder helps us to speculate on what’s behind the wall or how the story is going to end. Freedom gives us permission to wonder without restriction.

 

 

Don’t Be Afraid To Live

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Monarch Life Cycle — 1 of 20

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“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of a unlived life. You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live.”— Natalie Babbitt

Sometimes we get afraid of death not so much because of the unknown but because of the unknown of living. Death is part of the natural order of things and so is life. So since we are alive today, we have now the opportunity to live. Sometimes we get afraid of death not so much because we can’t take things with us when we die but because of not making good with our friends and family. Sometimes we get afraid of death not so much because we didn’t do everything we wanted to do but because of not doing the one thing that would have made a different in the life of another. Sometimes we get afraid of death not so much because we didn’t tell enough stories about our life adventures but because of not really being there enough as a listener.

 

Love is Love

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LOVE IS.....

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“The most important thing in this world is to learn to give out love and let it come in.”— Morrie Schwartz

Love accepts self and then others. Love grabs our attention, especially our hearts. Love allows others in our hearts. Love welcomes. Love is blind. Love accepts those who are ignored. Love teaches us how to love. Love brings individuals closer. Love is friendship. Love is transparent. Love is peace. Love is tranquil. Love is not enough. Love conquers all. Love shows its weaknesses. Love strengthens. Love overcome obstacles. Love wins. Love loses. Love sacrifices. Love gives with all its heart. Love is everywhere if we look for it. Love has a story to tell. Love knows what’s in the heart. Love sees all. Love runs deep. Love respects.  Love will prevail in the end. Love is never tired. It starts with love. Love lives in us. Love carries on. Love is love.

 

Practice Stress or Practice Peace

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Help Japan Brighton University Peace Cranes

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“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.”— Joan Borysenko

The quote above is telling us that we have a choice in the matter when it comes to choosing stress or peace. We have control to decide how we deal with stress. When we don’t deal with stress, we become more stressful. So it is the question of how we deal with stress. All of us have stressors in our lives. We can manage our stress by practicing peace.  A lot of our stress is in our heads because we make some things out of mountains when they are molehills. We also get overwhelmed when everything demands our time simultaneously. Well, we can only deal with one stressor at a time.  And the stressors we can’t control, we need to let them go. And if we deal with the immediate stressors, then we can best manage the other stressors effectively.