Ericksonian Principles

Another Chance To Change

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I'm still running away

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“Every new day is another chance to change your life.”— Unknown

When we look back in regret of our past, we are not giving ourselves another chance to change our life. We make ourselves feel powerless when we think we can change our past. The good news is that it is within our power today to change our life and, that we can be grateful when a new day arrives so that we can continue on making positive changes. Milton Erickson once said to a bride and groom that they should leave a trial of happiness…and to look forward in looking back. It is hard to make changes in our lives when we’re looking only at past regrets. However, if we start looking back at what good things we have done with our lives that made us happy, and then we would want to look forward for a new day in doing more of a good thing.

The Smallest Deeds

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One Good Deed

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“The smallest deed is better than the greatest intention.”— John Burroughs

It is so easy to say that we want to do great things in our lives. It is also easy to feel overwhelmed with anxiety to expect to do great things but only to be left with great intentions. Our egos think that for us to feel good about ourselves we ought to do grandiose things in our lives. But if we start slowly accomplishing small deeds, then we will have continuity to accomplish bigger deeds. Because by the time we get from accomplishing the smallest deeds to accomplishing the biggest deeds, we would have gain genuine confidence, experience and maturity. Therefore, we will be ready to handle the big deeds in our lives. It is all right to settle for small deeds. Small deeds can be like seeds. They will continue to grow long after the deeds are done, and as long as they are properly planted in enriched soil, with plenty of sunshine, and water.

 

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Remake Ourselves

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09[52] - Coffee

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“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.”— Mahatma Gandhi

If we continuously allow ourselves to be affected by unpleasant events that we can’t control, then it is time for an internal change. Clearly, this is not to imply that we’re giving up on changing the world but instead by changing the world we first start with ourselves. Although we can’t force change on someone else, this is not to imply that we should force change on ourselves. Changing ourselves should be made gradually for it to last. Change is a process that shouldn’t be rushed but nurtured through stages. Changing means also learning to adapt to new surroundings. We ought not hold on to the beliefs that everything should stay as they are while everything else is changing.

Going Beyond Our Limitations

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beyond

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“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.”— Albert Einstein

This quote above demonstrates that acceptance can be very powerful, instead of thinking that we’re the only ones with a limitation or limitations. Everyone we know has limitations especially the ones that we look up to. When we hide our limitations from others, we’re hiding our limitations from ourselves. Therefore, we haven’t accepted the fact that we have them and we must deal with them as they present themselves in our lives. We carry our limitations everywhere we go so they’re a constant reminder. We don’t have to see our limitations as dead ends but we can see them as milestones that we have reached or obtained. In other words, our focus shouldn’t be on our limitations, but instead on what can we do to achieve our goals. Our limitations are just part of us, they don’t have to define us.

 

 

Persistence And Opportunities

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Energy and Persistence

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Persistence brings us closer to achieving our goals. It will be difficult at times but it will get easier too. We need persistence the most is when we’re first starting out. There are opportunities when we are persistent. Opportunities are there to express our best self to others and ourselves. Opportunities have always been there, we just need to open our eyes wider to see. Being persistence looks for the kind of opportunities that will help us support our beliefs that we can achieve our goals if we allow ourselves to be more open to new things. Learning about those new things will help us to develop the tools we need to move ahead and be thankful for the experiences that we’ve accumulated over time. Persistence is an active role for us all to have.

Better To Do Something

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Nuke

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“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.”— Robert H. Schuller

One of our biggest fears is to take the first step to do something because we think it should be done flawlessly the first time. We can still achieve our goals without being perfect. We need to give ourselves room to fail or fall down so that we can grow and improve. No one is without imperfection. Sure, one person may do something better than the next person but it isn’t perfection. Maybe it is not perfection that we’re pursuing, but some sort of satisfaction that we get as we reach a certain skill level. We’re perfectly satisfied with our new found skill. No need to look for perfection in what we do because we’re satisfied with the results and we can live with that.

 

 

It’s About The Story

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Bedtime Stories for Grown Ups
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“Maybe it’s not about the happy ending. Maybe it’s about the story.”— Unknown

Everyday we’re writing our own story of our lives. We’re the authors of our lives. We can make our own decisions that will affect us in the long run. If we don’t know our story, then we’re allowing our story to be written by someone else. It is us that can tell our story. It is in our power to make what we want in life. We each have a purpose to fulfill. We somehow are contributors to society. Everyone who is alive today has a purpose to live up to. This is where we re-create meaning in our lives when we know our purpose in life and where we want to go. Our lives are about the story because it is our journey to learn and rediscover who we are as we live it.

 

Self-Discovery Through Obstacles

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55th International Art Exhibition :: La Biennale di Venezia

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We don’t have to give up on our dreams when things aren’t working well at the moment. Set backs are only temporary. Obstacles are there to not discourage us but to challenge us to stay with it.  Obstacles are telling us that if we want something bad enough we have to go through them. Obstacles make our journey interesting; there will always be something that will go wrong. Yes obstacles will delay us but when we finally do something that we set our minds to pursue we will feel confidence in ourselves and begin to build self-reliance and faith in ourselves. Obstacles helps us to discover what we’re made of. Obstacles aid us in discovering our weaknesses as well as our strength.

The Way We Treat

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humanity. love. respect.

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“Life treats you the way you treat you.”— Laura Frederickson

Life treats us the way we treat ourselves because we first learn this from life or specifically from modeling another person. Most of our unconscious learnings come from our conscious learnings. Although it is difficult to treat another with respect, because we’ve been mistreated, we still do have a choice to treat another with respect. But if we first begin to treat ourselves respectfully, then it will get easier to be respectful of others.  When we respect another human, we’re allowing that person to feel confidence in his or herself. Confidence in one self is important because it make us feel good about ourselves in which those around us will feel the positive effect.

Limitations and Potentials

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Potential

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We all have experienced our limitations but somehow we got around them when we wanted to pursue our dreams. We realized that we had to let go of some biases for us to move beyond our limitations. We don’t deny what was limiting to us. And, we don’t accept the fact that our limitations define us. We have a greater purpose than our limitations.  Some of our limitations are visible to others while some of our limitations are invisible which we can easily keep hidden.  However, we cannot ignore the fact that we have potentials waiting for us to be discovered. Our resources make up those potentials, which was accumulated through our experiences. So no experiences are wasted when we can learn from them and to use in some useful today.

Relationship and Communications

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Communication

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Communication is the hallmark of building a relationship. When there is break down of communications, there is really no relationship. Communication is exchanging ideas, thoughts and feelings to one another. Listening is the most important part of communication. Listening is not about waiting our turn to speak. Instead, listening is about allowing the other person the opportunity to express ideas that may be worth hearing. Listening is a form of respecting the speaker, which in turns allows listener an opportunity to speak as well. We relate to each other through communication. Language is important to us and we depend on it daily. We can’t live without any form of communications. Even the cells in our bodies communicate with one another so that are bodies can function properly every day of our lives.

Flexibility is Creativity

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white light

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Where there is creativity, there is flexibility. In other words, we must be flexible to create creativity.  It is all right to allow our minds to wonder and brainstorm about things.  Brainstorming allows us to imagine things without restrictions. Kids do this all the time. We were once kids. So if we can look back and to see ourselves as children imagining what it would be like to do this  or that—and we can pretend. When we pretended as children, we gave ourselves permission to be what we wanted to be because we wanted to know what it would be like. As children we can go as far as we can imagine ourselves to be doing something wonderful and fulfilling.  Creativity is a way to give ourselves back our freedom in life because as adults we get so involved with our fast-paced life that we forget that we can slow down our pace and think about the wonderment of life.

 

Our Feelings, Our Emotions, Our Thoughts

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  FEELINGS

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When it comes to emotions patience is required of us. Sometimes it is hard to control how we feel about things. Feelings tell us what we’re thinking at the moment. It is easy to compartmentalized our thoughts from what we feel. It is not easy to trace what thoughts we’re saying to ourselves to what emotions we feel. However, our thoughts don’t necessarily have to be traced. What we can do is to feel our feelings and if we need to express our feelings, do so— but also to own our feelings.  We’re not responsible for what we feel, but we’re ultimately responsible for how we use our feelings. We can’t allow our feelings to run us but we do need to allow ourselves to emote our feelings appropriately because that’s the natural order of things.

Life Is Too Short

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Life is Too Short Quotes

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“Life is too short to waste time waiting for other people’s approval on how you live it.”— Steve Maraboli

If we spend our time worrying about what other people think, we will never do what interests us. Yes we have relationships with others, but we also have a relationship with ourselves. We don’t have to have someone’s approval when we have ourselves to approve.  We don’t need our approval of what we’re doing validated by someone else’s approval. We must allow ourselves to do what interests us without ever having to second-guess ourselves.  If we do what interests us and, we enjoy doing it, then our approval to ourselves is validated and we would do more of what we like. This is how we get stronger and freer to be ourselves as individuals. We only have one life to live so let us take pleasure in the things that interest us.

The Right Use Of Knowledge

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Wisdom is ... knowing when to say "I'm sorry!"

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‘Wisdom is the right use of knowledge.’— Charles H. Spurgeon

Although acquiring knowledge is a good start to understanding wisdom, we won’t get a true understanding until we apply our knowledge to everyday life. The right use of knowledge comes with experience and understanding. Experience and understanding is the hallmark of wisdom. We can share our understanding with others, but everyone has to discover for themselves through experiences to find their understanding about life.  No one can take away our experiences because they become part of us. Our experiences live with us forever. Our experiences make us what we’re today.

 




Today Is a New Day

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Happy New Year !

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Today is a new day and a new year. Today is the time to start our new beginnings. Today we start from the beginning again. We build on our previous experiences. We can only hope that we made the best decisions last year so that we can have a better foundation to stand on.  We stand today because we made it to 2015. We’re grateful that we can start meeting our new goals that we set for ourselves this year. We all hope that this year will be a better year for us. But we must face the reality that we will have challenges ahead. Challenges that are inevitable that we will have the opportunity rise to the occasion. And sometimes we will fail and sometimes will succeed, sometimes we will cry and sometimes we will laugh, sometimes we will worry and sometimes we will have a peaceful mind.

Reflection Of Our Experiences

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Imagination of a little boy

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“If it’s still in your mind, it is worth taking the risk.” — Paulo Coelho

We all can imagine something we want to make real in our lives. Imagination is very powerful because we can rehearse as many ways possible in our mind how we want something. Imagination allows us to recreate things in our minds without judgment. Imagination allows us to take risks first in our minds before we risk making the idea real. Imagination is a gift that everyone has who is human. Imagination is really the reflection of our experiences. It is the visual memory, spatial skills, motor skills, and other senses that we have re-experienced in our imagination and our dreams.

 

Continuous Effort

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Robson's Icefall

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“Continuous effort—not strength or intelligence—is the key to unlocking our potential.”—Winston Churchill

‘Continuous effort’ implies an attitude of determination without giving up.  Our potential awakes us when we don’t stop making continuous effort in our journeys. Strength and intelligence is the by-product of our potential to succeed in our efforts. We don’t want to dismiss our strength and intelligence but to use them in our efforts to acquire skills and abilities to fulfill our dream by unlocking our potentials. We have the keys to developing our potentials, if we continue to make great effort to strive forward in our conquest. Each one of us has every day the opportunity to unlock our potentials. Our potentials are the raw stuff that can assist us in being our best in anything we put our mind to doing.

 

 

What I Choose To Become

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London Calling

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“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”— Carl Jung

We don’t have to be victims of what we can’t control. Instead, we can choose to be the victor of what we can control. It can be easy to fall into a trap of always lamenting about the unpleasant events in one’s life. It is not easy to pull one’s self out of such a trap, but the good news is that is not impossible. It is not impossible to find another way or find an alternative or to adopt a new perspective. Thinking differently is the key of becoming victor.

 

Time Was Yesterday

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time flies

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A week from yesterday will be a new year, 2015. That means that we have been in millennium, the 21st century for 15 years. And for those who have been born a millennium only knows millennium. It is amazing how time flies. That’s one thing we cannot get back is our time. So it is important to us to chose wisely where we want to spend our time the most. Sometimes it is not easy to find the time we need to get something completed. We don’t have to start using our time until next year but we can start using what time we have left for something of value now.  We ought not to deceive ourselves that we have all the time in the world. We don’t have all the time in the world because everything is competing for our attention, but we can’t do everything. We can only do one thing at a time. When we do one thing at a time, we’re able to focus more on the task at hand and we find it pleasurable to do that while we’re moving along.