Ericksonian Principles

When Criticism Hurts

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Criticism

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No one likes to feel or even be exposed when it comes to the work we do. No one likes his or her work to be criticized by another person. Criticism hurts. But criticism can help us understand what we can improve on. If we can use the criticism to our advantage, then the sting of criticism will quickly dissipate. Criticism is another form of blame, however we can use it as gift.  A gift is information that we may have never received. It is another opportunity for self-improvement and growth in our lives.

Another Goal

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Soccer goal

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“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”— C. S. Lewis

When we set a goal, we imagine ourselves completing the goal. When we set a goal, we are oriented ourselves to a near or distance future. A goal gives us a reason to move into the future. We want to see ourselves accomplishing something that was first an idea that will turn into fruition. A goal is simply thriving to do something else other than the usual routine. For a goal to be accomplished, we have to develop some sort of mindset that can help us to stay on track without the distractions of doubts. If we move an inch daily closer to our goal, then sooner or later we will get there. It is also all right to enjoy the process of getting there.

Genuine Closeness

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Electric light

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“The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be.”— Shakit Gawain

The quote above seems to imply that we have more darkness than we do light. Or, maybe Shakit is trying to say here that we need not be unafraid to reveal more ourselves to the world. The more we open up about ourselves the more there are opportunities for others to open up as well. This will bring genuine closeness. There is a risk involve but an opportunity to build trust and not feel so alone in the world. We all have that same ambitions and fears. We have more similarities than we have dissimilarities.

We Don’t have to be Defined by Our Problems

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Inspired by Escher

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“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” — Albert Einstein

This is such a powerful quote from Albert Einstein. The kind of thinking we use causes us problems. If we expect to use the same kind of thinking that created the problem to find a solution, then we would be looking  for one a long time. We have to readjust our thinking. Finding a new entry point or looking at the problem in a different way can be useful to solving it. Sometimes looking at the problem differently will help us to realize that there weren’t really a problem to begin with. Or, the problem exist, but we don’t necessarily have to solve it right now or not at all. Some problems we just have to accept and move on. We don’t have to be defined by our problems.

Having the Courage

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courage II

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It is true that what we imagined is what will become real in our world.  If we imagined the worse, then we will find and look for something that will make it worse. If we imagined optimism in a difficult situation, then in our minds we will see a better outcome. It is really about how we see it in our minds. That’s how powerful the brain and/or the mind is. If we focus on one thing to complete, we will find a way to get to the end. But if we allow ourselves to get distracted, then we will be distracted. It’s not necessarily about if we’re able to do something, but it’s about having the courage to do it.

Mind Of Peace

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Yoko Ono's "Imagine Peace" Campaign

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“Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life around it.”— Brian Tracy

It starts with our mind first and then everything else will follow is one approach. Another approach is if we act first in spite of self-doubt and fears, then our doubts and fears will lessen with a peace of mind. The second approach is more effective, because we don’t have to constantly battle with negative thoughts. When we act or do something different, we break up the rigidity, thus breaking up negative thoughts, which create new associations, which orient a new way to think.

Be Our Teacher

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Pairs[Explore]

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“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.”— Pema Chodron

We can learn from one another. A child can learn from a parent. And a parent can learn from child. We can learn from the sick and the dying.  If we’re willing to listen and observe things, then we can put those learnings into good use in our own personal life and be an example for others while others can be our teachers. We have teachers all around us to observe. Life is not only about living but also about learning to open our own hearts to let others in.

More On Passion

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Passion d'une nuit

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What will motivate us in going beyond the call of duty? The answer is our passion. When things fail, we still have our passion. When things go wrong, we still have our passion to make it right for us. Our passion keeps us from giving up. Passion gives us enthusiasm. When we can’t wait to get up the next morning to do to it all over again, is passion. Passion is the glue that holds everything together to make things happen.  Passion looks for opportunity to find a way to move things forward. Passion doesn’t mind the difficult work.

Complete Things

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Dr. Ivan Joseph No one will believe in you, unless you do

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Milton Erickson talks about completing things. To gain confidence in ourselves we need to complete things that we set ourselves to do. If we don’t complete things, then we have convinced ourselves that we can’t do the task, which means that we have strengthened the belief, “I can’t do this or that.” Our previous experience has proven to us that we can’t to this or that. But we forget that we have completed many things in our lives.  If we stop focusing on the things we think we can’t do and recall those things we can do, then the possibility is there.

Touch Them With Compassion

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Charles Bukowski Life's as kind as you let it be
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“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.”—Buddha

We have all experienced sorrows and wounds sometimes in our lives. We have all experienced being touched with compassion while we’re in the mist of sorrows.  Human contact is so important when we’re feeling like we’re experiencing sorrows and pain alone. Compassion from others is our strong hold that will help get us through some of the most difficult times in our lives. We just have to allow others in our world to share their compassion for us. So the next time, we will be more understandable and feel empathy and give compassion for others who is hurting and in sorrow.

Smile, Learn and Grow

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Smile [94]

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“Worry less, smile more. Don’t regret, just learn and grow.”—Unknown

Worrying is an internal process. It keeps us looking inward. It keeps us preoccupied with worried thoughts. While a smile is an external behavior and it is an internal experience. A smile is a friendly gesture. It is a nonverbal cue suggesting that the other person who is smiling is welcoming us into his or her space. We don’t see regrets when we’re smiling; we see faces smiling back at us. We smile when growth occurs. Growth is encouraged with a smile, therefore we’re willing to push a little harder.

 

We’re the Pilots Of Our Time

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TIME {Explored!}

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“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.”— Michael Altshuler

We have control over what we do with our time. While we wait somewhere in line, we can think about our next plan, or fill our time with reading a book, chatting with someone. The time we have now allow us to do what we want to do.  Time is very valuable. Time allows us to see things in a different perspective. Everything has a deadline. We all have unfinished things that we want to go back to, if we use our time wisely, we can finish them.  Time helps us to prioritize what’s most important to us.  Time ticks, ticks and ticks away.

First Be Gentle

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Child Tending Broken Baby Seedling free creative commons‘

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“Be gentle first with yourself if you wish to be gentle with others.”— Lama Yeshe

We ought to allow room for us to make mistakes and gently correct them. Self-criticism is just another form of self-blame. Blaming doesn’t support growth. So it is better to encourage growth than to look for mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable because we’re humans.   Mistakes only reveal new self-discoveries. Discoveries that will help understand one another without passing judgment. Being gentle goes a long way than being coerced into something we’re not ready for.  Knowing self is also about understanding others. We all have dreams, we all have concerns, and we have more similarity than dissimilarity.

Uncertainties, Or Infinite Possibilities

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Viewing the possibilities

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“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.”— Eckhart Tolle

How come infinite possibilities open up in our lives, when we become comfortable with uncertainty? This is an opportunity to ask us this question.  When we experience uncertainty in our lives, we keep at bay. We want to stay safe because we can’t predict the outcome. Uncertainty is really derived from our own fears. It is easy to feed our fears when they’re left unchallenged. Everything we do has a risk. Some things are more risky than others. The things we fear most likely won’t happen.  Infinite possibilities happen when we accept what’s real, and then our eyes will open.

 

Remembrance of 911

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Empty Sky: NJ 9/11 Memorial - Repost

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Yesterday was the day of reflection and remembrance of 911. Today is the day we live for those loved-ones who died tragically. They will remain in our hearts for the rest of our lives. When we reflect on those that lost their lives, we’re revisiting that moment in time. We got to stay strong for them. The moment in time changed the rest of our lives forever. It reminds us what really matters in life. We hope now that we have a better perspective on things.

Fearing Not to Be Wrong

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Great quotes about Learning and Change

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“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.”— Peter T. McIntyre

Milton H Erickson was very effective in helping others because he was willing to be wrong and to learn from his mistakes. He didn’t use traditional theory of psychoanalysis instead he observed the patient. He would get an idea as to why the patient did such and such, but he would ask the patient many questions to find out why the subject responded this way instead of another way. He would also try to challenge his own preconceived ideas by asking the patient. He was willing to learn from the patient not so much use a construct theories to explain a behavior.  He wanted to understand the patient’s model of the world.

Meaning Breaths Life

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Carcoar - my fav shots

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“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.”— Unknown

How can we reach an understanding about things, if we don’t give it meaning? It is like listening to a new song for the first time.  We can’t relate to the new song until we begin to build associations around it. After building new associations to the song, it becomes meaningful to us. We begin to link current events in our lives to the new song. The song becomes real to us. That’s why we enjoy listening to old songs we grew up with because they trigger memories, images and feelings. We re-experience past events as though it was yesterday.  The songs from past events are now more meaningful than before because it takes us back to a place we have forgotten about so long ago. It is like watching a black and white picture slowly changing to different colors.

The Perfect Moment

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Moment in Time

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“Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.”— Unknown

There is no such thing is a perfect moment. Waiting for the perfect moment is only created in our heads. Today we have the privilege to take the moment and make it to near perfect.  In other words, we can be proactive about making every moment count in our lives today.  Moment is really all we have, because we’re living in the present. We have memories full of moments that we can take a look at and we can look forward to new moments in our future.  But we don’t need to stay in the past nor in our future. We can live now in this moment.

Living With What We Have

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Zeramika Algarven

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“Prosperity depends more on wanting what you have than having what you want.”— Geoffrey F. Albert

We forget that wanting what we already have are really want we want. We don’t have to go looking for more of what we already have; instead we can embrace those things that we have. This is where we will feel some satisfaction to know that we don’t have to constantly look for new things to collect. We have already a collection. If we don’t realize that we have what we want, then we can look again and see that we do have them and be thankful.  We no longer have to take those we already have for granted. It’s okay to live with less. In fact, living with less can free us.

 

Breaking Free From Beliefs and Judgments

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freedom ... !

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“Taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.”— Byron Katie

If we claim ownership to our beliefs and judgments, then we have the opportunity and the power to change them.  We don’t have to feel powerless anymore when the opportunity to change is there. We just have to be willing to learn to enlarge our way of thinking. This doesn’t mean we have to compromise what matters to us. Our goal is to break free our minds to see beyond our beliefs and judgments. When our minds become free then we can be open to new ideas.  New ideas create new associations and new understanding about us.