Ericksonian Principles

Trusting

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trust

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Trust is very important when it comes to survival. Mistrust is what creates enemies. When we mistrust someone we don’t know, we make him or her into some sort of monster.  We don’t allow ourselves to really look at the person or to get to know the person. Instead we developed a preconceived idea about the person. It is easier to judge someone that’s different from us than to learn something about the person. When we begin to learn something about the other person, we begin to see similarities. We realized that there are more similarities than there are differences. We want to same freedoms, same dreams, and we all want to be loved.

 

What Can I Learn From This?

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balance

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We don’t always have to solve every problem that comes our way.  We don’t have to define every situation as a problem. The situation can be defined as a learning experience.  A helpful question to turn a negative situation into a positive one is “What can I learn from this?” When challenging ourselves with that question, we are forced to stop, think and reflect.  When we stop, think and reflect, we are creating the opportunity to be more balanced. Being objective keeps us from overreacting and/or feeling overwhelmed with the situation.

 

We’re Stronger

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The power of freedom

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Sometimes we forget that we’re stronger than we think. We’re afraid to release that power from within.  We don’t have to misuse our power by obsessing over things we can’t control. Instead, we can discover for ourselves what we can do just by doing it. Action will take us a long way than just thinking about what we want to do next and we have the strength if we believe that we can do it. On some level we do believe we can do something special with our lives, if we concentrate on the work with fewer distractions.

Abstract Goals or Tangible Goals

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Direction

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Although we don’t have to wait on a feeling to start something, we do have to make a decision to do it. The decision is very important. When we decide to do something, it is important when we do it. We got to make a schedule up and to follow it consistently. We need to write down the specific things we got to do for our plan to work.  These are our short-term goals to meet our long-term goals. It is nice to have a plan, because then we know what to expect, and we have a direction. Abstract goals are unreachable because we can’t touch them, however, tangible goals we can.

Change With Growth

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The Phoenix Process

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“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”— Karen Kaiser Clark

We can grow with change or we can resist change. It is better to grow with change than to wait on change to grow.  It is also better to grow so change can occur. It is not the things around us change; it is us that change. So if we want change to occur around us, then we must first make the change. Growth is the sign of change. We all experience growth on different levels. We can choose to grow if we’re willing to make the change. Change is inevitable while growth is a choice.

Memories and Dreams

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Poetic
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“Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.”—Douglas Ivester

Our memories represent our past’s experiences while our dreams represent what could be in our future.  Although we allow our memories to define us, we can know that our dreams help us to look for what is possible.  We can rehearse in our dreams what we wish to do in real time. In our memories we can see a trail of experiences while our dreams are like a flashlight in the dark, we can see where the trail leads us. Some memories are painful while other memories are happy experiences.  We can dream as far as our imagination can take us.

 

Redirecting Our Gaze From Anxiety

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Gaze

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If we’re experiencing anxiety, then we’re anticipating something. But if we want to experience some relief from the anxiety, then we must take some sort of action. If we can do something about the thing that’s causing anxiety, then we will feel more in control. And the things we can’t control, we just have to let them go, if we want our anxiety to decrease. So we have a choice to either do something about it or accept what we cannot control. What we cannot control doesn’t mean it is the end of the world or it is permanent. And it won’t be the end of the world if we let go of them. Letting them go doesn’t mean we’re giving up, either. We just have to redirect our gaze to something else.

Persistently, Persist Resistances

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Bindweed plant breaking through asphalt 8 - P1030678

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It is better to persist than to give up. As we persist, we begin to find out more about the problem than if we stopped prematurely. Persistence means to hang in there enough to get what we need out of it and then we can decide to stop when we have reached satisfactory. Persistence means going through the hard part of a situation and looking back to see how far we’ve made it through. Persistence is moving forward through resistances.

Our Own Self-Worth

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Sunset over the horizon

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“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.”—

However, our value does increase based on our ability to see that we have self-worth.  We don’t have to look for external approvals for us to know that we’re worthy. We’re worthy because each one of us is unique. As unique people, everyday we have an opportunity to give to society and to bring a unique perspective on things.  Once we see ourselves as unique and worthy, then we can see the worth and uniqueness of others. We then have mutual respect for one another’s uniqueness. We become more eager to listen to others’ unique perspectives, than to quickly tell others what we think. It’s about learning and widening our scope.

What’s Possible

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Up in the Air
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What is possible for one person is not the same as what is possible for another.  We all see the world differently. It is through our background is how we see the world. Our world is modeled through our up bringing.  We each have the propensity towards a certain talent that we developed over time. Not everyone has the same talent. As one person has a knack for doing a certain thing well, s/he will see what’s possible.  But as for another person without that same talent won’t see what’s possible. If we only accept what we already have and build on it, then it only matters to us individually what’s possible and to share with others how it affects us personally.

 

Create Joy

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brock // pure joy

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“Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.”—Milton Erickson

Pain is inevitable whether that’s emotional or physical. It is harder to heal emotional pain because we hold the memory of that event that caused us discomfort. Psychological pain heals with time. However, we have the ability to create joy. Just as emotional pain, we hold the memory of events that give us joy. It is all right to feel pain, but we ought to allow ourselves to feel and experience joy. We’re entitled to experience joy as much as we want to. We know what makes us joyful in life so lets us recreate it.

 

 

 

Inner Resources

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Virginia Hawkins Falls - Jocassee Gorges

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Sometimes we need to be reminded that we all have inner resources that we can always draw upon when we’re in need.  No one can take away our resources. We always take our resources where ever we go.  Our resources are accumulations of our experiences. Since we experience something every moment of our lives, more resources are added. The resources we have are our latent potentials that every one of us possesses. The latent potentials are our opportunity to discover how far we can go in our lives.

One By One

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Ta - Da and Passionate Possibilities
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When there are too many things on our minds, then it is time for us to write them down. It is difficult to address everything simultaneously. However, it is a lot easier to address things one by one. We can first find out what is the most important thing on our list. Secondly, determine whether or not if some of the things on our list we can hold off until we address the other important things.  As a result, our stress level will decrease significantly when we take on something one by one.

Today is Friday

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Dragonfly poser - Libélula - dragonfy - libelinha

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Today is Friday. Enjoy today because it is Friday. Friday is the last weekday. We can let go of our tension and relax a little on Friday. Friday is like sunshine on a raining day. We love Fridays. The whole day is Friday.  Only if we could experience Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday the same way as we do Friday, we would be a happy camper.  This is about switching our perspectives and our attitude rather than avoiding realities. There will be good days and not so good days. It is all right to express frustrations, sometimes. However, let us enjoy today, Friday.

Retreat From Stressors

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Serenity Retreat - Early Fall

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Sometimes we need to retreat from the stresses of life. We need to take our minds to a peaceful and quiet place. As our minds go to this peaceful and quiet place, we find that we begin to let go of our stressors. The weight of our stressors will lift from our shoulders. We’re beginning to feel the weight lift slowly off our shoulders. We now feel lighter when we’re back on our feet. Now we have more energy. We feel fulfilled inside and now we can take on the day again.

 

Thinking Freely

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thought
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Thinking differently is the key to how we make changes in our lives. We can’t use the same mindset and expect a different result. Instead, thinking differently means changing our mindset. When we change to a different mindset, we have a greater opportunity to see that change is possible. It’s a new way of thinking that will motivate us to continue our quest for more changes. When we look back on the progress we’ve have made over time, it increases our confidence. Self-confidence begets more self-confidence; therefore we will continue to think freely.

 

When We’re Challenged

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Cyril the squirrel up for a challenge 15:54:50
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When we are challenged or we challenge ourselves, it may mean that we want to break through our rigid ideas. Being challenged gives us the opportunity to break free from our own restrictions. Being challenged means to go beyond our comfort zone. Being challenged means to find out what we’re made of. Being challenged is about self-discoveries.  If we challenge ourselves, there is an opportunity for possibilities. Being challenged implies that there is more potential inside us than we know.  If we take on the challenge, then growth is inevitable. If we take on the challenge, then learning something is certain.

 

 

A Smile

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blur of smile

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“Use your smile to change the world; don’t let the world change your smile.”—Unknown

A smile is so powerful that it can make person’s day better.  When we express a smile to another, we also experience a good feeling that everything will be all right.  When we smile, we don’t have to expect a return smile back. A smile is a state of expression. A smile can alter a person’s physiology. A smile can change our mood into a positive attitude.  So it is true that a smile from another can affect our model of world. A smile changes us starting from the inside.

Where We Place Our Attention

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secret
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“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.”—

It is all about where we place our attention.  Everyday we will be challenged by something we dislike or some unpleasant event that may be affecting our lives. There is not a person in the world who’s without experiencing difficulties. We’re in this together. Some of us have learned how to handle life difficulties better than others.  And none of us are perfect; we have all experienced not handling an unpleasant event very well.  That’s the part we must accept. We don’t have to be so hard on ourselves but only to learn and grow as we mature.

 

Control Your Future

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Ship's Steering Wheel

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“Only you can control your future.”—Dr. Seuss

We have a choice to be controlled by our future or we have a choice to control our own future.  Sometimes we would rather not lead our own lives because we fear the unknown future. We don’t know how our decisions will affect our future. That is the risk we must take if we want to be in control of our future. When we reflect back on our journey, we can say that we did it our way.  There is a sense of freedom, when we take charge of our own lives.  We are building self-confidence in ourselves when we take charge.