Ericksonian Principles

Today’s Resolutions

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Illustration Friday - Resolution

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“I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the year’s.”— Henry Moore

It is interesting that Moore sees things in term of a solution instead of a problem. He thinks about what he can do to resolve things today, not wait until tomorrow. When we think in terms of resolving things today, we’re forced to exercise our brains to find new solutions. We don’t need to wait until next year to find answers.  Instead we can find out today what works and what doesn’t work. The quicker we start today the quicker we’re on our way in finding resolutions.

Act or Forget

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forget about the sunshine when it's gone

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“Complaining is silly. Either act or forget.”— 

It is so much easier to complain than to act. If we act, there will always be some risks involved. But if think the risk is too great, then it is better just to forget about it and move on. If we’re complaining, it is more likely about the things that happened or the decisions we’ve made in our past. Those things will be part of us but they don’t have to define who we are as people. Instead, those past regrets are only reminders of how we’ve seen the world at the time. And we can see clearly now how are past decisions affect us today and we can learn from them.

 

Being Independent

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Early fireworks

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For us to grow, we must claim our independence. Being independent doesn’t exclude us from needing support from others. Being independent means having freedom and responsibility to walk our own path. Being independent means to be self-reliant. Being independent is knowing when we need help without feeling helpless or powerless. Being independent builds strength and endurance so we can handle better the tough times while enjoying the good times together with friends and loved ones. Independence brings together like-minded people.  Have a Happy and Safe 4th of July!

Happy and Useful

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What a useful thing
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“What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful.”—

Being useful is what makes us happy. When we’re being useful, we feel good about ourselves.  We get a feeling of satisfaction when we offer something that’s useful for another person. Being happy and useful is what makes life meaningful. We all want to contribute something so we can feel useful and that we’re making a difference in someone’s life. It makes us happy when someone tells us how much he or she appreciates our efforts. A simple thank you from another makes us feel appreciated and want to do more to help.

 

What Are Memories?

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Faint
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Memories are from our experiences. In other words, our memories are the offspring of our experiences.  Memories are very powerful because we can revisit them and experience them again. Some of our memories are very vivid while others are very faint.  Our faint memories are the ones we want to recall the most while some of our vivid memories we just want to delete from our mind. Memories can bring up images, emotions, smells, etc.  Our memories are what we are. Our memories are the foundation of our personality. Since our experiences are the offspring of our memories, then our personalities are made from our experiences.

 

 

 

What Do We Think?

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worthy toll house

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“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.”—

How much do we think we’re worth depends on how much we value ourselves.  Sometimes, we have the tendency to want everyone to like us because if everyone likes us, then we will feel worthy and feel good about ourselves. We don’t have to depend on anyone for our self-worth. We get our self-worth not just through others but also by what we do for others and ourselves. If we get our self-worth this way, then we don’t care too much about what others think of us instead we care what we think is most important to us.

 

Tough People or Tough Times

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Photographers expand horizons in 2010 Army Digital Photography Contest 110311

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“Tough times never last, but tough people do.”— 

When we’re in the mist of a tough time, it feels like eternity. When we continue to focus on the feeling of that experience, it becomes difficult for us to see that this will end and that we can get through this if we just hang in there longer. A permanent decision doesn’t have to be based on a temporary feeling.  Instead, if we acknowledge our feelings when we do experience tough times, then the feelings are not as overwhelming, or feel like we’re out of control.  To be tough doesn’t necessarily means that we become heartened. To be tough could mean that we’ve learned how to react appropriately to the situation.

 

It is Just a Test

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Red and blue substances in transparent test tubes
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Waiting is the hardest thing to do when we’re waiting for the results of a test. It could be an exam that we’ve studied so hard for. All kinds of things can go through our minds from if we have failed the test to second guessing ourselves. Anticipating the result is always difficult.  But if we know that we prepare for the test then we can feel confidence that we have done well.  Even if we haven’t done well, when we see the results, we can always see what we’ve missed and learn and find out what area should we concentrate on. There is life after a test. It is just a test.

 

Developing Our Strengths

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strength

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Success is achieved by developing our strengths, not by eliminating our weaknesses.”—

Sometimes we get caught up in looking at what we lack instead of developing what we already have, are our strengths. It is easier to develop our strengths than it is to make our weaknesses into our strengths.  Let us not only accept our weaknesses but also accept our strengths. We take for granted our strengths because sometimes we think that they aren’t worthy enough to impress others and another reason is because we focus too much on what we don’t have. We ought to allow ourselves to admire others strengths and let others admire our strengths.

Peace From Within

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Peace

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“Other people do not have to change for us to experience peace of mind.”— 

We don’t have to change for other people for them to experience peace of mind.  Instead, we can change for ourselves for us to experience peace of mind.  Having a peace of mind happens from within. We can always remove ourselves from the event that may be causing discontent. However, we still have to learn not to react to things but to find a place within ourselves to experience peace. We can go to a place where it is quiet and breath nice calm breaths and close our eyes and allow ourselves to go somewhere else in our mind to experience calmness and serenity. After doing this exercise several times, others will take notice as to how calm we’ve become.

 

Doubt Our Power

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Power Of One
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“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.”—

Our doubts are fueled by the same energy as our courage. We could either watch through the lens of doubt or through the lens of  courage. We have a choice. We don’t have to be defined by our doubts. We give doubt more power when we run the other way instead of facing our doubts and taking that one big step. Sometimes that’s all we need to do is to take the first step and start the process using our power that each one of us possesses.

 

 

A Little is A Lot

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. Mentor .
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“Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.”—

When we begin to give thanks for what little we have, we begin to see that we do have a lot. And when we realize that there were others who spent time schooling us about life, we then could pay back our time by being a mentor for the next generation.   As we get older, we remember those who helped us along the way through a difficult transitional period from adolescent to adulthood and how it continues to affect us today. We don’t have to minimize what little we have to offer our services because in truth we do have a lot to offer from our experiences.

 

The Right Use of Knowledge

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BessyodakeSA_06
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“Wisdom is the right use of knowledge.”— Charles H. Spurgeon

Through trial and error we gain some experiences. And with experiences we have the opportunity to gain some wisdom along the way. The most misunderstanding in using words or hypnotic suggestions is that they have power. There is no such thing as the power of suggestion. Milton Erickson throughout is career tried to dispel this myth.  Milton Erickson through trial and error found out what worked and what didn’t work. He relied on his subjects to educate him by watching and observing them. And through his own experiences he understood that the power was in his subject not the words and/or suggestion. He learned how to use his words and/or suggestions by the tone of his voice and knew when to say them at right time. The words and/or suggestions were meant to evoke and stimulate the mechanism of the mind that was responsible for change to occur.

Curiosity And Answers

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Curiosity blinded the Cat

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Curiosity stimulates our brains in to wanting to know something.  Curiosity is the basis of learning something new that’s intriguing. We want to know everything about everything.  Not all our questions will be answered. Not all questions are answerable. Sometimes we’ve got to ask the right questions for us to get satisfying answers. Although our questions changes over the years depending on what’s important to us, we still return back to the basic questions we asked as children to grownups, “Why we are here, what’s out there beyond our solar system, or are they’re other like us?”  If we’re asking ourselves why we are here, then perhaps, we’re looking for a purpose in life. If we want to know what’s out there, then perhaps, we’re looking for exploration. If we are looking for someone who likes us, then perhaps, we’re looking for someone who enjoys the company of another.

 

Let Go of What Was

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Letting Go of the Past

 

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“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.”—Sonia Ricotti

If we let go of what was, then it is easier to accept what is and have faith in what will be.  Since we can do nothing about our past or foresee what’s in our future, so why not deal with the present.  We ought to spend our time and energy in the present instead of splitting our time into the past, present and future.  When our attention is split into three ways nothing can get done. But if we eliminate our past and our future for the time being and focus just on the present then we have gained back 2/3 more of our attention. Our undivided attention is in the present.

Our Beliefs Are Meant To Be Tested

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Test fold: Tube with a diagonal shift

 

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If we see a task as something unpleasant to do, then we will experience unpleasant feelings. When we start to experience unpleasant feelings about a task, then we would find a way to avoid doing it.  We sometimes get caught up in the feelings of unpleasantry of doing the task that we won’t even start or have difficulty starting. When we do this, we don’t give ourselves a chance to find out if we like or dislike doing it. The unpleasant feeling is base on a belief that something about the task is not worth putting in the time and effort. However, this generalization is false because the unpleasant feeling is not based on reality. That’s why it is all right to challenge our generalization to see if it is really true.

Keep Going

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Keep Going

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“Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.”—Sam Levenson

This quote is a good analogy of how we get ourselves so easily distracted, instead of doing the work we set out to do. When we look at the clock, we’re looking to see how much time we have left to start doing something. Sam is encouraging us to keep going until it is completed. Milton Erickson says completing things are important. We feel good when we finally complete something. Completing things can boost our confidence. Before we start something we need to consider the possibility that some parts of the process will be difficult. Difficulties are just learning how to widen our minds to find another way to get through things.

 

 

Unexpectedly Surprised

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Enlightening Sign

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“If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.”—

If we do something unexpectedly, then different results may happen.  The possibility of getting different results is greater when we do something unexpectedly. However, if we do something that’s not beyond what we’re already been doing, then we will expect the same result. We’re unexpectedly surprised when something happens that grabs our attention. It’s really about taking a risk by moving beyond our comfort zone. It’s all right to experience discomfort. The discomfort is only temporary until we begin to feel some comfort and self-confidence.

 

 

Let Out Joy, After Sadness

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.Joy.

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“The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy.”—Jim Rohn

Sadness comes from the same place as joy. We build walls around ourselves because we don’t want to get hurt again. We sometimes forget that we don’t have to ignore our feelings, but to express them or use the energy from them to do something constructive.  We’re robbing ourselves when we keep joy trapped in the walls we have created. We need to break down those walls and let out sadness or any other negative emotions out and let us express the positive emotion like joy.

 

Enjoying Life

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~Make your choices, focus and enjoy life! ~
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“No man is a failure who is enjoying life.”—

We can still enjoy life because when we fail, we can get right back up. When we get back up, we can see that our life continues and we have another opportunity to try again.  Failing is only temporary. We can choose to enjoy life because life is not about whether or not we fail. Failure doesn’t stifle our enjoyment of life. Failure is just a part of the process of growth.  We will always experience failure just as we will experience success as life continues.