Ericksonian Principles

How Do We React?

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Different perspective!

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Stress and unhappiness come not from situations, but how you respond to situations. — Brian Tracy

It’s hard for us to make the distinction between an event and our reaction to an event or a situation. There are facts, and there are opinions about the facts. We all come from different backgrounds where we see events through. Some of us are more affected by an event than others. It depends on how we’re raised and what are our values. We see things through our values. It’s all right to leave an unpleasant event if it’s affecting us. No one has the right to force us to stay at a place that’s unpleasant to us. As adults, we are responsible to ourselves. Lowering our expectation is an excellent way to reduce our stress level and to better handle ourselves in an awkward situation.

[bctt tweet=”Stress and unhappiness come not from situations, but how you respond to situations. — Brian Tracy” username=”bloggist”]

Similar Values In Friendship

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Friendship

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The person who doesn’t value you is blocking you from the one who will. Let them go. — Robert Tew

We’re wasting our time trying to get the approval of a person who doesn’t care about what we do. We ought to care about what we do. The person we need to impress and please the most is ourselves. That’s how we build our confidence in ourselves is by doing the things that please us. We’re content when we please ourselves because we don’t have to seek outside ourselves for the satisfaction we can get it from ourselves. Friendship is built on having similar values. A friend allows us to be ourselves while we’re not afraid to allow our friends to be themselves around us.

[bctt tweet=”The person who doesn’t value you is blocking you from the one who will. Let them go. — Robert Tew” username=”bloggist”]

Wanting To Control

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Uncertain Future

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Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it. — Kahlil Gibran

We think if we could control an external event, then our anxiety will cease. We can’t anticipate what we think is going to happen to us in the future. The future is unknown. Anxiety is triggered when we don’t know because we want to control things. We have a certain level of control over ourselves, and that’s where we should place our attention. We don’t have to think that we need to control external events for us to control our anxiety.  We just have to do the things we have control over that can be constructive to our well-being.

[bctt tweet=”Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it. — Kahlil Gibran” username=”bloggist”]

Chance to Change Your Life

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Antarctic Graveyard

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Every new day is another chance to change your life. — Unknown

Changing one’s life is difficult. Just because it gets a little tricky to change something that doesn’t mean we should discontinue trying. Life is a learning curve. Progress can be snail pace at first but if we start now, then the more we learn, the more our growth will double. But if we sit and think and not do, then we all know that nothing will get done. Nothing is gain by idleness unless we need to rest.

[bctt tweet=”Every new day is another chance to change your life. — Unknown” username=”bloggist”]

We Can Try

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Tangerine Sunset Hilltop

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You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.— Beverly Sills

We’re disappointed because we have a level of expectation in ourselves to succeed. It is natural to have disappointments in our life. Although it is healthy to have some disappointments, it is unhealthy to stay disappointment with ourselves. Instead of spending time lamenting about how we fail, we can learn from our failures. A failure is our opportunity to see how we can learn to make improvements. We learn through trial and error. We find out what works and what doesn’t work for us. We all have to find our way and the inner strength to move past our disappointment and use our time on the how and less on the what in life.

 

[bctt tweet=”You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.— Beverly Sills” username=”bloggist”]

Start Loving Yourself

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Narcissism –noun 1. inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.

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Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything that you are. — Unknown

It takes a lot of energy to be what we think we’re not. We don’t need to be like someone else. We have our unique way of doing things. That’s what makes us unique. We just have to be what we’re already are. In other words, we just need to be ourselves and not to be afraid to be what we already know about ourselves. It takes less energy to be ourselves. It is unfair to compare ourselves with another when we’re two different individuals. There is no one the same. Even with identical twins, they are slight variations because, at first glance, we can’t tell identical twins apart until we get to know them. We may be able to imitate someone well, but we can play ourselves superbly.

 

[bctt tweet=”Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything that you are. — Unknown” username=”bloggist”]

 

Make Tomorrow Today

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today

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Many fine things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow. — Unknown

When we procrastinate, we convince ourselves that we still have time to meet our goals or complete a task. We say to ourselves we still can put off our goals and our dreams until tomorrow. However, when morning arrives, we play this distraction mind game with ourselves where we get busy with other things while our goals remain unattended. When we put forth effort in accomplishing things, although it gets complicated, we still feel proud of ourselves when progress is made each time we work on our tasks to help achieve our goals. We feel proud ourselves because it was a struggle and that we pulled through. Pulling through the struggle made us stronger in character than before.

 

[bctt tweet=”Many fine things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow. — Unknown” username=”bloggist”]

 

Accepting The Struggles of Life

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Frosty Trees

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The secret of being happy is accepting where you are in life and making the most out of every day. — Unknown

It is better to start with being happy where we are than to start out not accepting where we’re in our lives. Accepting where we are in life let us be less resistant to change. We don’t have to fight with ourselves anymore to find peace. Making the most out of today is giving us an opportunity to make our life better if we so desire. Life is bittersweet. It is not always sweet. Life shouldn’t always be sweet. We need some bitterness for us to appreciated the sweet parts of life.  The more we put into life, the more we get out of life.

[bctt tweet=”The secret of being happy is accepting where you are in life and making the most out of every day. — Unknown” username=”bloggist”]

Lessons, Acceptance & Gratitude

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Early one October morning series

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No regrets, just lessons. No worries, just acceptance. No expectations, just gratitude. Life is too short. — Unknown

If we turn our regrets into lessons, we will learn something of value. If we lessen our worries, then we would live our lives better. If we lower our expectation, then we would be happier. Our regrets can keep us in the past while our worries keep us fearing the future. Our expectations can keep us disappointed in life. Lessons we learn from life will keep things interesting while acceptance will keep us in peace. Our gratitude will keep us focusing on the things that matter the most.

[bctt tweet=”No regrets, just lessons. No worries, just acceptance. No expectations, just gratitude. Life is too short. — Unknown” username=”bloggist”]

Today’s Shade

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Cincinnati - Spring Grove Cemetery & Arboretum "Ceder Lake - Dawn Light through Cypress Trees"

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Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. — Warren Buffett

Every day we see the fingerprints and footprints of our ancestors. Some of us live in homes that were built in the 1920’s, and there are people today in other countries live in castles, sanctuaries, houses that were build centuries ago. Some of our infrastructures are based on Roman’s architecture. We like to create things to make things easier for ourselves and the next generation.

Just as we passed down our values to the younger generation so they won’t make the same mistake as we once did. We have advanced technology because of what started at the beginning. It’s what others strived to do that they laid a foundation so we can solve today’s problems more sufficiently. We may wonder if this knowledge is somehow passed down through our DNA or civilization has created an atmosphere that each generation has an opportunity to better his or her life.

[bctt tweet=”Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. — Warren Buffett” username=”bloggist”]

Feelings Are Just Visitors

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Feelings

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Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go. — Mooji

Thank goodness that feelings are only temporary. We can’t stay angry at someone. We can’t stay happy all the time either. Feelings don’t stay with us for too long unless we can keep thinking about the event. We don’t have control over how we feel, but we do have control over how we express our feelings. Feelings are our emotion in motion. It is how we see the world and our feelings tells us how we feel about the world around us before we can process the event that we think caused it.

 

[bctt tweet=”Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go. — Mooji” username=”bloggist”]

Five Years Ago Today

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Jefferson Memorial

It was on Memorial Day five years ago that I decided to start posting daily brief messages. This post will be the 1300th short message without missing a weekday, not including Saturdays and Sundays. Thank you, everyone, who has been reading these brief messages and especially for those of you who were there at the beginning in 2009. As you can see in the archives, I started posting in 2009 not knowing what I wanted to write. During that time, I wasn’t publishing consistently until May 30, 2011. I hope these messages will continue to inspire you as I post them each day of the week for another five years!

Cheers!

Eugene

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There is nothing nobler than risking your life for your country. — Nick Lampson

When a young 18-year-old goes into battle, he or she is risking life to protect us from afar. Unfortunately, many of our soldiers return home after making the ultimate sacrifice. That’s part of war life. The soldiers have been trained to protect each other so that they can make it home safely to see their families again. There are wives, husbands, moms and dads, kids praying for the protection and safe return of their loved ones. Let us honor and thank our men and women in the services that they have been providing for us to live peacefully at home.

 

[bctt tweet=”There is nothing nobler than risking your life for your country. — Nick Lampson” username=”bloggist”]

 

 

 

 

 

Passion Achieves Success

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2011 04 10 Treedom XII watching Taunus in the spring

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You never achieve success unless you like what you are doing. — Dale Carnegie

It is a lot easier to do things we enjoy doing than to do them without passion. Passion is what keeps us going in spite of difficulties. Without passion, there will be a lot of unfinished projects. Doing what we like is like rewarding ourselves each time we do it. We can’t wait to get out of the bed because we want to start up again on what we were working the day before.  Doing what we do is an expression of our passion. We love doing it, and it doesn’t matter how hard the work is.

 

[bctt tweet=”You never achieve success unless you like what you are doing. — Dale Carnegie” username=”bloggist”]

Inspiration Breeze Fullness

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The Place for Inspiration

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It’s lack that gives us inspiration. It’s not fullness. — Ray Bradbury

When we lack something we need, find a way to compensate; find an alternative, and think outside the box. We use things in a different way than before. We utilize more of what we already have. We remove ourselves from a normal context into a whole different context in search for a new way of thinking. We receive fullness whenever we encounter inspiration and not the other way round. Inspiration is the initial spark of curiosity.  Curiosity can lead us to self-discovery, if we allow ourselves to see what we are and what we can become.

[bctt tweet=”It’s lack that gives us inspiration. It’s not fullness. — Ray Bradbury” username=”bloggist”]

 

When We’re Proud

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HFF Happy fence friday

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I still have a long way to go, but I’m already so far from where I used to be, and I’m proud of that. — Unknown

Whatever efforts we’ve been putting into such as our projects and our goals, we should be proud of ourselves. Sometimes we wish that things would move along quickly because we want to see the result. In the beginning, we have to be a little patient when we’re at the beginning stages while our brains are becoming acquainted with everything. It takes time for the new things we’re learning to stick. We know this from life experience that later in our learnings when everything begins to click. We then look back and wonder why we didn’t understand things sooner. We must allow time to show us when we’re ready to accept some new understanding.

[bctt tweet=”I still have a long way to go, but I’m already so far from where I used to be, and I’m proud of that. — Unknown” username=”bloggist”]

Commitment, Conflict and Character

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There!
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Commitment in the face of conflict produces character. — Unknown

If we want to meet our goals, then we must commit to the things we need to do to complete them. Making a commitment means doing something for the long haul in spite of the difficulties or the time constraints we will face. Dedication and determination go hand and hand. We may have doubts about our abilities to complete our goals, or we don’t feel like doing it. However, we continue to strive to do it anyhow because we know it could make us grow.  Growth can build character if we’re willing to put up with delays, obstacles, and frustrations to get there.

 

[bctt tweet=”Commitment in the face of conflict produces character. — Unknown” username=”bloggist”]

What We Cling To

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Clinging tight!

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You only lose what you cling to. — Buddha

The above quote reminds me of a paradox or oxymoron. Buddha is saying if we just stop desiring something that we don’t have, then we will lose out on what we already possess inside of us. Sometimes we think we need to have something more because someone possesses it. We may have noticed that our desire is the greatest when someone has something we want. However, if we let those things go, then we would have everything. We just have to look into ourselves and discover what we have and bring it to the surface.  When we discover what we possess within, we no longer have to make a comparison.  We no longer have a desire to look outside ourselves to fulfill a void that we have created.

 

[bctt tweet=”You only lose what you cling to. — Buddha” username=”bloggist”]

Facing Reality

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The gardens - Les jardins - La Alhambra de Granada Spain Andalusia - Picture Image Photography

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Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. — James Baldwin

If we start to face reality as it is, then we begin to truly live our lives. We truly live our lives because we learn to rely more on ourselves. We discover we can do things. There were times in our past that we had to face things we didn’t think we could get through, and we did. No matter how much we’re in denial about stuff, we can never fool ourselves. There are some things we have to admit to ourselves. Facing reality is not always an easy thing to do. But we face things anyways because facing things give us the opportunity to change and grow into our selves.

 

[bctt tweet=”Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. — James Baldwin” username=”bloggist”]

 

 

 

Doing Our Best

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pink house

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People are doing the best that they can from their own level of consciousness. — Deepak Chopra

Sometimes we have to remind ourselves not to take someone’s actions personal. Someone’s action is not necessarily directed at us. We all have needs we’re trying to meet each hour of the day, and sometimes someone’s needs are in conflict with our needs. Just because their needs are in conflict with our needs doesn’t necessarily mean they’re intentionally causing affliction toward us. When our needs aren’t being met, our self-respect becomes depleted in which causes increase hostility in us.  However, when our we needs are being met, we can see a big turn around in our attitude.

[bctt tweet=”People are doing the best that they can from their own level of consciousness. — Deepak Chopra ” username=”bloggist”]