Ericksonian Principles

Starting Over

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The bridges I burn will light my way home

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It’s okay to start over. It’s okay to rebuild. It’s okay to be scared. —Unknown

When we start over is a new beginning and an opportunity to rebuild our lives. It is normal to be scared when we’re starting a new chapter in our lives. We don’t know what to expect. We don’t know how we’re going to handle new challenges. In everything we decide to do, there is always a price.  There are the pros and cons of everything we do. We just have to weigh the pros and cons ourselves based on what’s important to us.  The pros are our rewards while the cons are our challenges. Challenges help us to put things in perspective. Starting over is like being pushed from our nest.  It is time to get out our own again.

 

[bctt tweet=”It’s okay to start over. It’s okay to rebuild. It’s okay to be scared. —Unknown” username=”bloggist”]

Stimulating Learning

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Chinese Garden, Vancouver

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Be thankful when you don’t know something for it gives you the opportunity to learn. — Unknown

Sometimes we get quickly caught up in thinking we don’t know enough about things. We don’t have to feel that we’re behind in our understanding of things. No one person knows everything. It is better to have more than one mind working together because together we can solve problems better and faster. It is better to learn from someone who has knowledge and experience on a subject.  Sometimes we feel inadequate about our lack of knowledge is because our egos get in the way. Each time that happens it is just another opportunity to learn something new that will hopefully stimulate our imagination into coming up with new ideas.

 

[bctt tweet=”Be thankful when you don’t know something for it gives you the opportunity to learn. — Unknown” username=”bloggist”]

Remaking Life After Grief

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A New Leaf

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Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life. — Anne Roiphe

We grieve because we lost someone close to our hearts. It can be difficult sometimes for us to move on because it feels like a part us has also died. However, we still have the other part of us that can keep the individual we lost in our hearts. If we retain the memory of the lost loved one alive in our hearts, then they will be with us for the rest of lives. When we recall a pleasant memory of a person that passed away, our brain won’t know the difference. We will still experience good feeling and even some comfort. The most difficult thing to do is to let go and move on because life continues.

[bctt tweet=”Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life. — Anne Roiphe” username=”bloggist”]

Delay or Conquer

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To Beseech Thee

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What you deny or ignore, you delay. What you accept and face, you conquer. — Robert Tew

When we deny or ignore something, it all come from our fears.  We’re afraid to know the truth and reality of things. We prefer to hold on to a distorted reality that we’ve created.  And we think that’s going keep us safe.  Worrying about things can’t save us. Worrying has no power. However, if we face things as they are, then we have one another to face things together.  Denial is another word for distraction. We deliberately distract ourselves because we don’t want to face what might cause us pain. So how can we conquer something that is unknown to us without investigating? Knowledge is powerful. Knowledge can subside our fears if we allow ourselves to be open to it.

[bctt tweet=”What you deny or ignore, you delay. What you accept and face, you conquer. — Robert Tew” username=”bloggist”]

 

You Can’t Unless Imagined

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Just my imagination

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You can’t do it unless you can imagine it. — George Lucas

Imagination is a very powerful tool to use to help motivate us into doing something. If we imagine ourselves doing something, then there is a possibility that will start doing it. Visualizing ourselves where we want to be in the future in our mind’s eye helps us to substantiate our beliefs about ourselves that we can do it. Life is difficult already, and not everything will be smooth sailing. There will be some storms and some rough winds. If we’re willing to put up with the storms and harsh winds, then we can do what we’ve imagined if we put our minds to it.

[bctt tweet=”You can’t do it unless you can imagine it. — George Lucas” username=”bloggist”]

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Be As You Wish

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El Matador State Beach, Malibu Ca - Color Outer Space

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Be as you wish to seem. — Socrates

We don’t have to seem to be a certain way. Instead, we can be a certain way. We don’t have to project to others what we wish to appear, however, be what we want to seem. In other words, be ourselves. We like what we’re becoming. We do things we enjoy doing. We’re defined by what we do. What we are is what we do. The decisions we make in our life are based on who we are today. However, we change over time, and we readjust with changes that come our way. It’s all right we embrace what we wish to seem to others so we can be fully ourselves. It is much easier being ourselves than being something we’re not. It takes less energy just to be.

 

[bctt tweet=”Be as you wish to seem. — Socrates” username=”bloggist”]

 

The Seed Of Triumph

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Corral Arch, Malibu Ca

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Always seek out the seed of triumph in every adversity. — Og Mandino

While adversity will happen to us, in the midst of it, why not look for something that we can claim triumph.  Our dignity can remain with us in the midst of adversity. We don’t have to be trampled by adversity. The seed of victory will start to grow when we begin to have an understanding that our adversity is just temporary, and we’re beginning to see the ending.  Life difficulties can seem like forever. We still have to continue with life which is a sure way of telling ourselves that we’re moving passed our adversities. Sometimes we’re like a candle in the wind or so it seems.

 

[bctt tweet=”Always seek out the seed of triumph in every adversity. — Og Mandino” username=”bloggist”]

We’ve Done Enough

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Relaxing

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Let whatever you do today be enough. — Unknown

We can only do so much in a day. At the end of a day, we have to tell ourselves that we’ve done enough, and we have to let it go. We have to let go of our frustration that’s been accumulated. We have to let go of our stressor that’s been building as well as letting go of our worries because everything will be there the next day. We have done enough. Now it’s time to renew our energies. Now it’s time to return to a place of peace. It is time to rest. It is all right to relax. We need a re-organization and a re-orientation so we can be effective tomorrow.

 

[bctt tweet=”Let whatever you do today be enough. — Unknown” username=”bloggist”]

The Courage to Continue

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American Courage

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Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. — Winston Churchill

It is the courage to continue that counts after success and especially when we fail. With success and failure, we still have to deal with our vulnerability. We need to be secure in our skin. Even after success, we still have to learn to deal with life. We still have to live a life worth living. Courage is getting through life difficulties and not giving up for what’s important to us. Some days we will have some successes while other days we will have some failures in life. It is the natural course of life.

[bctt tweet=”Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. — Winston Churchill” username=”bloggist”]

Reward or Value

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le Marche - onda verde

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When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor. —Elon Musk

 

It is easier to get caught up in wanting a particular outcome than doing something that’s important to us. We want a reward for our efforts. It is all right to look for a reward when we have worked so long and hard on something. Seeking a reward alone won’t keep us motivated to keep us in the game. We do something because we get passion from it, we enjoy doing it, and it gives us meaning. We get meaning out of what we do because it is important to us and it brings us value not because we want a reward. It is better to enjoy our passions first before we think of turning it into something to get a reward.

[bctt tweet=”When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor. —Elon Musk” username=”bloggist”]

Starting with a Small Seed

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Seed

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From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow. — Aeschylus

The easiest way to build confidence is if we set obtainable goals we know we can do. Each time we accomplish a goal our self-reliance increases and we begin to feel comfortable doing it. It doesn’t mean it will be easy completing the goal, but it does mean that we have more confidence that we will reach our goal.  It is important to stay consistent, and laser focused so there won’t be room for distractions until our goal is completed. It is a good idea to establish a routine to help keep us consistent.

 

[bctt tweet=”From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow. — Aeschylus” username=”bloggist”]

 

Who Will Try

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Do try to keep up son!

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There is nothing impossible to him who will try. — Alexander the Great

First, let us establish the difference between the words ‘try’ and ‘do.’ We have learned many things from this point in our lives we do; which means the things we have learned is at our disposal when we need them. We do something because we know this to be true by looking at our past experiences. We try something new. However, we don’t know we can do something because there is no reference in the past that we did it. Just because we don’t have a reference in the past of doing something doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. For us to learn, we must try it out to see if we can do it,  learn from our mistakes, and then continue to do it as we improve. It is when we stop trying to do when things seem impossible because we stop learning.

 

[bctt tweet=”There is nothing impossible to him who will try. — Alexander the Great ” username=”bloggist”]

A Piece of Wisdom

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Wisdom

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It is alway nice when we read a piece of wisdom or a saying that stirs up something inside us. Sometimes we need to be reminded because we can quickly fall back to our old ways of thinking. And no one wants to experience the feeling of being stuck. And that’s what our old ways of thinking will lead us to if we don’t challenge them.  We won’t be able to redesign our lives unless we’re willing to be open to new things and learnings.

 

 

 

Doing Your Best

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Wells

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Excellence isn’t being the best; it’s doing your best. — Unknown

If we’re trying to be the best, then we’re comparing ourselves with others. However, if we’re doing our best we’re competing with ourselves and not others. We’re more ourselves when we’re doing our best. We don’t worry what others say about us when we’re focusing on how can we make improvements and not on how we can be better than the other person. Instead, we can help each other to improve on our personal best. We will find more satisfying when we set a personal goal and meet them, than if we get overly competitive with another just because we want to win. It’s okay to feed our egos sometimes, however, not to the extent where we have to win most things because if we lose,  it would be a big blow to our ego.

 

[bctt tweet=”Excellence isn’t being the best; it’s doing your best. — Unknown ” username=”bloggist”]

 

Prepare To Succeed

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preparation

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By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. — Benjamin Franklin

If we fail to prepare, we presuppose to fail. Therefore, we fail.  However, if we prepare ourselves to do the work that’s required of us, then we presuppose to succeed. By what we do, our actions are demonstrating to ourselves that we will succeed. We learn better by doing the action. The results of our actions will always be our proof that we’re succeeding. Just as the results of our inactions will always be our proof that will not succeed, thus substantiate our belief.  We just have to discern which behaviors we are using to get us closer to our goals and which ones are not.  We can easily distract ourselves from what we suppose to be doing to prepare ourselves for success. And it takes just as much energy doing nothing as it is doing something.

[bctt tweet=”By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. — Benjamin Franklin” username=”bloggist”]

Contentment

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Contentment.

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He who is contented is rich. — Lao Tzu

Society has sold us on the idea that to being rich will lead us to contentment.  External things are not enough to satisfy us. Sure, we will be comfortable and have some freedom, but we still feel a longing in our hearts. Contentment is internal experience as a result of understanding that life is more than just seeing how many goodies we can gather.  Living a life of contentment is about letting go of those goodies and just being ourselves while living a meaningful life.  We must look inside ourselves and discover what makes us happy. That’s where we will find our contentment.

 

[bctt tweet=”He who is contented is rich. — Lao Tzu” username=”bloggist”]

 

 

Extraordinary Things

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extraordinary

Post Written By Eugene Morgan The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them. — Paulo Coelho

If we’re more present with our lives, we’ll begin to see simple things as extraordinary. It is where we place our attention. The simple things in life are extraordinary if we just take the time to look around. It’s all right to pause for a moment and see what we’ve missed. Watching a lovely sunset or a sunrise seems simple, but it’s extraordinary to watch and experience. Experiencing the wind blowing against our face and through our hair but not being able to see the wind is extraordinary. Walking may seem simple, but it is extraordinary because we’re made to stand and walk on two’s. Talking may seem simple, but it is extraordinary because communication is a very complex, etc.

 

[bctt tweet=”The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them. — Paulo Coelho” username=”bloggist”]

The Inner Critic

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gentle caress of light

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When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. — African proverb

Why are we so concern about critics when we want to do something out of the ordinary? The critics aren’t holding us back; it is our inner critic that keeps us from going the extra mile to get where we want to go. When we display our final product for the world to see, we feel vulnerable to criticism. Criticism is inevitable. Again, our concern for criticism from others is just a reflection of our inner critic. Perfectionism is a hallmark for criticism. However, no one is perfect. We will not always succeed in our first attempt. We get better over time, and once we reach our peak, we can learn to accept it. Mistakes are the opportunity to learn from so we can become our best selves.

[bctt tweet=”When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. — African proverb” username=”bloggist”]

Doing, Being and Becoming

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There is light!

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Life’s not about expecting, hoping and wishing, it’s about doing, being and becoming.— Mike Dooley

Wishing for something tells us we have a desire. Hoping for something tells us we’re looking into the future for something good to happen. Expecting says we want something to happen sooner than in the future.  However, if we do more doing, we’re expressing what we want to become. What we do come out of what we are. Being is our natural state, and it take less energy to do.  Becoming will take us a lifetime to develop who we are and what we want to be is what we’re wishing, expecting and hoping for in our lives today. Life is about experiencing, sharing and living. How do we learn from life if we’re not expressing our uniquely to ourselves and the world? We are here to be.

 

[bctt tweet=”Life’s not about expecting, hoping and wishing, it’s about doing, being and becoming.— Mike Dooley” username=”bloggist”]

It Matters With Time

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Time to rise

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It’s not about ‘having’ time. It’s about making time. If it matters, you will make time. — Unknown

If it matters to us the things we do, then we will make time to pursue them. We can never get back time. Time is our most precious resource that we have an opportunity to use. The closer a deadline, the more focused we’re getting things done. Deadlines can keep us on track. It is interesting that we want to rush time along if we’re in traffic or we want quick results on something. We ought not to wish our time away. Thank goodness that we don’t have that kind of power because if we could speed up time, then our lives would be over. We wouldn’t have time left to spend.  Quality is just as important as quantity of how we spend our time. It is time to use our time wisely because we’ll never know how much we have left.

 

[bctt tweet=”It’s not about ‘having’ time. It’s about making time. If it matters, you will make time. — Unknown” username=”bloggist”]