Ericksonian Principles

The Curious Paradox

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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. — Carl Rogers

So most of us may think regarding what we don’t accept or dislike about ourselves, we must change. However, Carl Roger was trying to explain to us that it is easier to make a change if we first accept the parts we dislike about ourselves. Yes, we can accept all our foibles; however it’s hard to change every foible. We can change some things that are maybe affecting our relationships or job performance. It is interesting that we can hone in on someone else’s weaknesses better than we see our own. What we dislike the most in someone else’s is surely a reflection of our stuff. Although it’s hard to change ourselves, it is not impossible as long we’re aware of what we need to be modified. Again, let us accept ourselves before we do anything to make a change because we owe that to ourselves and others.

[bctt tweet=”The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. — Carl Rogers”]

 

Problems Are Guidelines

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Beach Inside Ponce Inlet

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Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. — Robert H. Schuller

Problems are inevitable. We will always have them in our lives. We just have to learn how to deal and sometimes adapt to our problems. We got to continue living because the world won’t stop when we have a problem. We can see a problem as a guideline. They tell us about ourselves. Not every problem is going to be resolved right away. If we’re still dealing with an old problem, then that tells us that we haven’t learned how to handle the problem. We’re still distorting reality instead of dealing with reality as is. We still haven’t grown up yet. The problem can be reoccurring theme in our lives, if we don’t let go. However, we must.  We need to let go and use what capabilities we do have to resolve and accept the problem and then move on.

 

[bctt tweet=”Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. — Robert H. Schuller”]

Luck Will Find You

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Dia de San Patricio

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I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often. —Brian Tracy

In other words, luck is not handed to us. We have to work for luck to happen. We have to be where everything is going on for us to get some good luck. Luck is not created in a vacuum.  We don’t have to give up on luck when we’ve been at it for such a long time. We have a greater chance of luck when we continue to participate in the work we do that give us passion. Passion is more important than luck because passion lasts longer than luck. Luck is being at the right place and at the right time and meeting that right person that can alter our course to the next level if given the opportunity to show our talents. Luck is not idle. It looks for that person who is ready to be what they always been.

[bctt tweet=”I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often. —Brian Tracy”]

 

First Believe That You Can

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Believe

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In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can. — Nikos Kazantzakis

 

Belief can be very dominant in the mind. If we tell ourselves we can’t do this or that, then we believe we can’t do this or that. However, if we tell ourselves we can do this or that, then we believe we can do this or that. If we believe can’t do this or that, then we will find a way to make it true. However, if we believe we can do this or that, then we will find a way to make it true. A self-fulfilling prophecy is when we sabotage our success because we think we don’t deserve it even though we earned it. Sometimes, it is the fear of success and, not always the fear of failure that keeps us from making our mark in life. Success is only the reflection of how much we believe in ourselves. We will always have some self-doubts and some lack of confidence while we struggle to fulfill our endeavors.

 

[bctt tweet=”In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can. — Nikos Kazantzakis”]

Creating Yourself

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Amarre

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Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. — George Bernard Shaw

To find one’s self implies that we are lost, and we don’t know who we are or who we suppose to be. However, to create one’s self-means that we know who we are and what we want in life. We base our decisions on what we want in life. We create a plan, and we follow that plan we have laid out for ourselves to help us to achieve our goals and desires. We learn a skill or a craft so we can become who we wish to be in our lives. For us to be something, we must practice and use every opportunity to use our skills in real life. We create ourselves by the choices we’ve made up to this point. It is not by coincidence where we are in our lives today. The decisions and choices we made in the past are the results of what we’re doing today with our lives. The decisions and choices we made in the past created who and what we are today.

 

[bctt tweet=”Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. — George Bernard Shaw”]

 

God Gave Us Friends

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...friendship

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Friends are the siblings God never gave us. —Mencius

We all need a friend or two to hang out. We have friends that share common interests. We need friends that are honest with us, and we’re with them. It is nice to look forward to seeing a friend we haven’t seen for a long time. It is nice to reminisce with friends about stupid things we did in our youth. A good friend challenges us to do our best in spite our hesitation, and we reciprocate the challenge.  A friend accepts our flaws but challenges us not to be hindered by them. Friendship can last a lifetime. However, we can lose a friend quicker than we think.  Friendship is a bonding experience with another person or person(s). Let us never take our close friendships for granted because before you know it they’re gone.

 

[bctt tweet=”Friends are the siblings God never gave us. —Mencius”]

A Positive Attitude

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Marys Peak ACEC

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The only disability in life is a bad attitude. —Scott Hamilton

If the disability in life is a bad attitude, then the ability in life is a positive attitude. We have the capacity to change our attitude from a negative attitude to positive or a good one. We can handle better stressful situations if we have a positive attitude because having a negative attitude only exacerbate an already difficult situation.  We think better and have more energy when we see things positively. A bad attitude zaps the energy from our body while our thinking only gets black and white. We can’t see alternatives. We need to see that we have alternatives so we can act precisely. A positive attitude can get us much farther than a bad attitude that’s disabling.

 

[bctt tweet=”The only disability in life is a bad attitude. —Scott Hamilton”]

What We Know We Can Be

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Japan

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We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. — Max de Pree

We can never stop growing. Don’t we want to learn something about ourselves that we didn’t know before? We’re full of untapped potentials. These possibilities are waiting for us to be used to assist us in becoming what we need to be.   We have the opportunities to do something new that we don’t often do. We have to change the way we think. We’re evolving every day which means we continue adjusting and adapting to our new way of doing and thinking.  We’re challenged by external forces as well as internal ones. No one is without a challenge in life. We all have to deal with different types of challenges all of our lives. However, each one of us deals with challenges in our unique way as we’re becoming more of what we can be.

[bctt tweet=”We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. — Max de Pree”]

Run The Day

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End of the another day

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Either you run the day or the day runs you. — Jim Rohn

We have a choice to either run our day or allow the day to run us. Procrastination is one example where we allow the day to run us. Instead of initiating, planning and executing the plan promptly, we procrastinate and wait until we’re forced to make a move under the pressure of a deadline to get things done. When we do get things done under this kind of pressure, we experience relief or relief from the pressure. That relief reinforces the procrastinating behavior, in which, encourages more procrastination. In other words, the procrastinating behavior is rewarded by relief of tension and release of pressure we put on ourselves. Procrastination creates an unnecessary burden on ourselves when we dread doing a task. However, initiating a plan is imperative for running our daily lives which mean taking control of our lives. When we do more initiating, we gain more self-respect.

 

[bctt tweet=”Either you run the day or the day runs you. — Jim Rohn”]

 

Managing and Anticipating

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Continental Divide NST

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Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy. Lao Tzu

We tend to place our attention on the difficult part of learning something new than learning and managing the easy parts. Keeping our attention on the difficult parts will only discourage us from learning how to do things. Why not find out how to handle the easy parts first and worry about the difficult parts later. Learning the easy part is not to avoid learning the difficult, however, to get us more acquainted and familiar with our learning. Repetition will be useful once we begin to learn the difficult parts because it will get easier to do. It is always better to break down the hard parts into smaller ones because that way they will be a lot easier to manage.

 

[bctt tweet=”Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy. Lao Tzu”]

 

Doing Our Best Today

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future systems, copenhagen harbour, 2004-2008

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The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Today ought to be the most important day because our future depends on it. Since we only have today to spend our time, then it is important to plan one or two things we know we should do to alter our future. If we have some anxiety about tomorrow or our future, then it means that we haven’t been doing anything today to change it or prepare for it. If we prepare today, then we will be ready tomorrow. We can’t predict or totally alter our future, but we can alter ourselves for the future. Anything could happen between now and our future.  Tomorrow starts with our future or even 6 hours from now is in the future. So the future doesn’t have to be very far away. How ever we spend our time now will determine how well we adjust to our future.

 

[bctt tweet=”The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. H. Jackson Brown, Jr. “]

Important Work

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19/52 - leaning on Antony Gormley

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Your most important work is always ahead of you, never behind you. — Stephen Covey

Yes, we can see that we’re making progress by looking back at the work we have done.  When we rise in the morning, we can be thankful that we have another day to do our important work. Our important work is ahead of us because we know our purpose. We know what’s important to us, therefore, we want to continue doing the work. It’s our labor of love because it bears meaning to us. A life without a purpose is no life at all. Our purpose gives us value in the work we do, and that’s important to us. Our aim is what drives us to continue the work even though at times no one understands why we do it.

 

[bctt tweet=”Your most important work is always ahead of you, never behind you. Stephen Covey”]

Three Approaches To Learning

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Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. ~Chinese Proverb

The quickest way to learn something new is by someone teaching us how to do it.The quicker way to learn something is to learn by doing or getting our hands dirty. A quick way to learn something new is by watching someone in action doing it. However, if we just combine all three approaches to learning, then we will be most active in our learning. With all three methods, we may need to use one approach in one area of knowledge, and we may need to use another method to another area of learning, Depending on our personality styles we may lean toward one approach while another with a different personality style lean towards another. It all depends on us how we approach learning new things.

[bctt tweet=” Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. ~Chinese Proverb”]

Communication and Understanding

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Listeners

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The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply. — Zig Ziglar

Communication is exchanging ideas to one another. When we communicate with one another, we lessen the problem of misunderstanding. Communication helps us to build trust and respect. Listening is an art. We learn a lot about another person if we do more listening. We learn about their likes and dislikes. By listening, we learn about what they’re thinking. We learn about how they’re thinking. A speaker paints a rendition of the world to a listener. We want to be listened to, however, out of respect, we take turns speaking and listening. We need to listen to one another for us to understand. Communication is not a one-sided conversation. However, both parties are in on the speaking and the listening. We all have needs we got to meet, and we address these needs through our communication. Although we communicate with each other, we also communicate with ourselves.

 

[bctt tweet=”The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply. — Zig Ziglar”]

 

Small Steps

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Steps

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Success will never be a big step in the future; success is a small step taken just now. — Jonatan Mårtensson

It is easier to look at the endgame than to see what we can do now to get to our endgame. Success may be far into the future, however, just talking about won’t get us there. The steps may be difficult, and they are many, but it start with one step toward our goal. We just have to make our actions consistent, persistent and to keep focused. When we keep our focus on one thing at a time, we will more likely complete it. It takes time and effort to learn how to maintain the focus on a new thing. If we execute our steps around the same time and place, we begin to develop a pattern or a habit. The habit becomes automatic which keeps us from distraction. We do A, B and C, and then we’re done and resume our daily lives and responsibilities.

[bctt tweet=”Success will never be a big step in the future; success is a small step taken just now. — Jonatan Mårtensson”]

 

Light Tomorrow

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Light tomorrow with today! — Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Since we have today to spend our time, we might as well as be most productive; so when tomorrow comes we will be better off than we were yesterday. Today is built on yesterday as well as tomorrow. Each day we build a stronger foundation. Another way we light up tomorrow is that we don’t go to bed angry at someone. Instead, we resolve it with the person or let go of it before we retire. We can light up tomorrow by not worry about tomorrow. We can light up tomorrow if we trust more of ourselves today. We can light up tomorrow if we’re connecting with good people today. No matter how unpleasant weather looks outside tomorrow whether there will be snow or raining, tomorrow will be lit because of today.

 

[bctt tweet=”Light tomorrow with today! — Elizabeth Barrett Browning”]

 

 

 

 

 

A Lesson Learned

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Life Lessons (Explored)

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Though nobody can go back and make a new beginning… Anyone can start over and make a new ending.  ― Chico Xavier

We go through life learning lessons or we can take our experiences as lessons. If we carefully examined our lives, we then would find that there is a theme. The theme in our lives usually stems from how we grew up and are raised. If we have a re-occurring theme, then we’re still learning, or we haven’t learned what we suppose to have learned. We hold on to a belief that’s been out of date. The belief that needs to be updated. It’s nice to have insight about the ‘why,’ however, it is better to learn the ‘what’ because we can develop a plan that can be useful for a change. Although, the ‘why’ can give us insight, the ‘what’ is more concrete and accessible to grab a hold.

 

[bctt tweet=”Though nobody can go back and make a new beginning… Anyone can start over and make a new ending. ― Chico Xavier”]

 

Self-Worth Or, Possessions

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Treasure

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Your worth consists in what you are and not in what you have. —Thomas A. Edison

Thomas is making a distinction between what we are and what we have. The possessions we have are the result of what we are. Therefore, what we do is an expression of what we are. We earn what we have by what we do or what somebody else did. There is no such thing is a free lunch because everything is merited. We have to make our way through the world by doing. We can’t take everything we possess everywhere, but we can take our abilities everywhere we go. Our self-worth is where we will find our self-confidence. Self-reliance is where we build confidence that is where our treasure lies. Things are not where we find our self-worth.

 

[bctt tweet=”Your worth consists in what you are and not in what you have. —Thomas A. Edison”]

 

 

Open Minds Open Doors

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Mary Pinchot Meyer

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Open minds lead to open doors. — Unknown

An open mind is destined to open doors. Opportunities awake us when we’re ready to take them on today. An open mind widens our world. We see things we’ve hadn’t seen before. It is helpful to have our minds open when it comes to a exploring new things. Our biases are known to close doors. How can we expect to see opportunities when we can’t see on the other side of the door? Just as a balloon floats to the sky when we look down we can see everything. A closed mind sees no opportunities. A closed mind cannot see beyond the biases. It is not easy for all of us to give up some of our biases. We just need to break up some our prejudices to build new associations and distinctions to help us increase our horizon and to expand our world.

 

[bctt tweet=”Open minds lead to open doors. — Unknown”]

 

Hold Back

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Empty

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. — Denis Waitley

So what holds us back is that we’re comparing ourselves to someone else. We think we have to be like a successful person for us to succeed. We forget that a successful person wasn’t alway successful. It took growth pains and perseverance to get to where they got. It took a lot of trial and error. It’s a matter how much we want it and how much time we want to spend. We build on our strengths, not on our weaknesses. We find out what we can do and what we can’t do we leave the rest to someone else’s strength. Our weaknesses are an opportunity for anyone to express their strengths, and someone else’s weaknesses are an opportunity to express our strengths.  So it is all right to ask someone if we need help and to help someone if they need our help.

 

[bctt tweet=”It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. — Denis Waitley”]