Creating Freedom In Our Lives

Written By Eugene Morgan

Milton Erickson often tells stories to aid in helping his patients to make changes.  Most of his stories are about accomplishing goals and overcoming obstacles.  He wants his listeners to identify with a character, thus experiencing what the character is experiencing.   In a way, Erickson is getting his listeners to create a sense of freedom.  He designs his stories to help break up rigid ideas and to stir up emotions.  Breaking up rigid ideas means freeing up new ideas, and stirring up emotions means freeing up different emotions.  Erickson says, “I win championships out of my wheelchair, daily.”   Although Erickson is confined to a wheelchair, he finds ways to carry out his goals.  He doesn’t allow the wheelchair to define him; rather he defines the wheelchair as just a tool to get around.

Understanding Self-Doubt

Erickson throughout his career in working with patients encounters the issue of self-doubt.   Self-doubt creates the feeling of lack of freedom.  No one likes to be tied down, and self-doubt can tie us down.   It keeps us from doing what we want to do.  Self-determination doesn’t exist when we’re in the state of self-doubt.  Our attention is focused on what we can’t do, so we won’t even attempt doing what we what to do in our lives.  Because of this, it narrows the range of possibilities for doing what we want to do.   Self-doubt is a mental habit; it can fill a person’s mind.  A mental habit of self-doubt can trickle down into fear or anxiety and create a behavior of non-action towards a goal.

Some of these behaviors we may be exhibiting are: distractions, procrastination, making excuses or making justifications.   Erickson creates a climate of getting patients and/or students to trust him, which in turns creates self-trust and self-reliance, which is a prerequisite to freely doing what we want to do and to discovering what we can do.

Trusting and Relying on Self

Before Erickson can do anything to help a patient, he first has to build rapport, which requires the patient’s trust.   He wants the patient to trust him so that the patient feels comfortable responding.  One approach Erickson uses to get the patient to trust him is to expand the patient’s viewpoint by reminding her about something she already knows.

For example, he would say something like “We don’t know what was the first thing we learned as infants, but we were learning rapidly about the world around us. We heard different sounds, sniffed different smells, seen different objects, and felt different textures. We learned the difference between hot and cold, wet and dry, dark and light, a shout and a whisper, etc.”

By hearing the above quote the listeners may have developed an unconscious search.  Once the unconscious search activates the listeners’ unconscious mind will bring about some of those experiences to forefront of the listeners’ conscious minds.  If the listeners begin, such as, to smell a certain fragrant or favorite food from their pasts, this is clearly self-proof that their unconscious minds have responded.   Erickson only guided patients by stimulating their unconscious minds to do most of the work.

Permissive Attitude

While Erickson has a permissive attitude towards his patients and students, I also think it is helpful to have a permissive attitude toward ourselves.   How do we know what we can do if we don’t try it?  But before we can try something new or challenging we need a permissive attitude.  It’s all right to be permissive and fail.  Failure isn’t who we are.  Failure is just a barometer or a feedback of where we are.  It’s not always about trying harder either.  Feedback is information that can be useful, like finding another way.  Having a permissive attitude can free us from self-doubts and uncertainties.

Discovering What We Can Do

“When one knows the boundaries, restrictions and limitations that governs them he is free to utilize satisfactorily whatever is available.” (Milton Erickson)    In other words, test the boundaries, restrictions and limitations that we have so that we can discover what we can do.

In my last post, Discovery Our Uniqueness, under the heading “Find Our Contribution To Humanity” I quoted Milton Erickson, “I always enjoy discovering what I can do.”    One of the primary goals in life is the enjoyment of our freedom.  We need to push through our struggles, push through hardships, and push through difficult tasks, which are done through self-determination.

Self-Determination

Once we have tested the boundaries, restrictions and limitations thus discovering what we can do, we can decide if we want to do it again.   We can feel confident in ourselves that will increase our self-trust and self-reliability and thus decrease self-doubts, anxieties and fears.

Freedom

Self-Determination can lead to freedom.   Can freedom lead to self-determination?   When there was slavery in America, some slaves were self-determined to be free.  Some tried to escape and some succeeded.   However other slaves who wanted to be free were afraid to push the boundaries and limitations.  They waited to be freed.

So when slavery was abolished these former slaves who waited to be freed did not know what they wanted while those who did push the boundaries to be free knew what they wanted.